The Thursday Blog

Hello everyone and welcome to The Thursday Blog, packed full of passion, desire and an mp3 player that is not an ipod yet still uses itunes.

Let’s get into today’s episode called:

“Superman in the Supermarket”

If I were Superman, then the supermarket would be my Kryptonite.

Just last week before our holiday my beautiful Princess was sick so I was looking after her and my Little Princess. One way I knew that would help my Princess feel better was for me to do the the grocery shopping. I set out with the list.

We have decided that my Princess is the manager of our food stores; not because I am a chauvinistic male, but because if I was in charge it would be 70% candy, 29% frozen meals, and a stork of celery. So as the food manager she knows what belongs in our house and what doesn’t. She just walks the aisles and knows what we need, what we don’t and casually looks at the list from time to time.

I on the other hand have no idea what belongs in our house so I stick to the list. Now the trouble with going off a list is I have no idea where the items are on the shelves or what section something would live in. So my first round was to walk from section to section, aisle to aisle, just looking for things that looked familiar that were on the list. First round I ticked off 18 things on my list of 40. Then my only option was to go hunting. I look at the list and I go hunting. This means I travel to one aisle one to pick up tissues, then to aisle 15 to get honey. This gets me to about 34 out of 40 things. Final step I go and find a person and beg for them to take me to the final remaining items.

This whole process took me one and a half hours, when it usually takes my Princess 45 minutes. Seeing I was there for a long time I had a lot of opportunity to do silly things, and that opportunity didn’t go to waste.

Silly thing number 1: I wrote on the list. My Princess is perfect and so is her handwriting and the list though hard to follow (as stated above), was easy to read. As I was walking out of the door we realised that we needed a few more things – some OJ, some cereal, and some cold and flu medicine. I quickly wrote these items down and left for the supermarket.

On my arrival back, bruised and battered, my Princess questioned one of the items I bought:

“Why did you buy this?” she asked, holding up some apple and raspberry cordial (cold-aid).

“It’s the cordial. I know we never buy cordial but it was on the list”. I said defensively.

My Princess after looking at the list, starts laughing.

“That says Codral” she says. (Codral is one of the leading brands of Cold and Flu medicine).

“Ohhh, that’s not my fault, it looks like it says cordial”.

My Princess couldn’t control her laughter.

“But…….. honey………… YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT!!!”

Silly thing number 2: We needed water for our road trip. On the list it stated 10 x small water bottles. I looked around and only saw a 24 pack which was too many and probably more than we needed to spend on water. The rest of the funky brands in singles were $3/bottle so that wasn’t the right choice either. Then whilst walking around I spotted a trolley with random cans of coke, pepsi etc in it, with a sign saying “Loose Drinks 59 cents”. I looked over and lo and behold, there were just a few bottles of water. This was fantastic because I could choose how many I wanted and I was saving heaps of money. I fished out what looked like the last 6 bottles and went to move on, smiling. But then I saw something.

Below all the cans I saw a familiar glisten and discovered that there were a few waters left. I started to get out a few and noticed there were a lot more. Like a man obsessed with good value, I put more and more into my shopping cart. I didn’t know how many I got until I got to the register. I had picked out 21 bottles that came to the price of $12.40. At that point I got a sick feeling in my stomach. After paying and putting them into the car, I ducked back into the store to the bottled water section and my fear was confirmed. The 24 pack I had previously decided was too many and too expensive, was $9.50. I had paid $3 extra to get 3 bottles less!!!

I had failed at the supermarket, but I succeeded as a husband. Maybe that makes me Superman…however not quite as my Princess got over her cold two days later for the start of our holiday; but I then got it for the next nine days, the entire duration of the holiday.

Have Fun (because I still did),

Dan

Hello everyone and welcome to The Thursday Blog, packed full of excitement, action and an array of soft cheeses.

Well what a week it has been. I woke up on Friday morning sick as a dog, but still managed to drive 1000km (625 miles) to sunny Brisbane. We have had a great week, relaxing, catching up with family and blowing my nose and coughing. Now it is coming to the end of our stay and I face another 1000kms ahead and a loss of internet connection so I better get this post up quickly.

Last Wednesday night when I had allotted my time to construct last week’s episode is when I came down with the sickness so instead of airing my episode I sent it out to the people to see what they thought. The result was amazing and you need to go and read them and then start following their blogs as they are impressive thinkers.

So here is my take on last week’s question of Needs vs Wants – Which is greater? You may be thinking that I should have added this in a comment last week but I have the microphone so I can do what I want in this week’s episode:

Needs vs. Wants – A need way of thinking

I was brought up with a lot of wisdom from my parents. One thing they tried to engrain into me is that there is a difference between needs and wants. So when I was looking at using my entire 15 years worth of life savings, all $205, on a CD player, I was given the teaching on needs and wants. I worked out after a series of teachings that I didn’t need a CD player but that didn’t mean I couldn’t get it. I also figured that there wasn’t much that I needed being 15 and living at home. Then I deduced that I could save for something better like a car when I turn 17…but then scrapped that idea seeing that it took 15 years to save $205 (so that meant I could buy a car at the age of 71!). However, I realised that even though I didn’t need a CD player, I still wanted one and was willing to pay the cost. So I bought it.

This is what we have been taught for years. Fulfil your needs, then if it is possible, go and get some wants that aren’t too selfish. Work hard to put food on the table and if you are lucky you may get dessert. My father who has worked hard all his life to provide for a wife and six children is now a bit older. His house is paid off, he is close to retirement, all children are independent; and he is at a stage where his needs are small and finally he can look at some wants. He jokes, saying “Finally when I can afford a steak, I don’t have the teeth to eat it.”

Assuming that needs are greater than wants in the area of money, is the same in the area of relationships.

It is very romantic to be able to say “I need you because life has no colour without you” but is this the level we need to get to?

Most people think that the pinnacle of a spiritual relationship with God is to be fully dependant on Him. They strive to get to a point where they totally need Him, they can’t live without Him, they cannot get up, they cannot go to sleep, they can’t eat or drink unless He is with them. This type of need is the ultimate, or is it?

To need something points all the attention at one thing – you. You need food because you will die without it. You need shelter because you will get sick without it. You need friends because you’re emotionally inadequate without them. You need money because you can’t live life without it. All of these needs point to the person who is in need and at the consequences that will happen if they are not met. Needs are always about the person – they can’t by definition be about someone else.

Wants on the other hand are more flexible. A want can be totally fuelled by self-centredness but can also be totally about another person. A person doesn’t need to give money to feed the poor but they want to. Yes it may be because they want to feel good about themselves, but that want has the potential to be purely about helping the other person.

This is where we should be striving to take our relationships. To build them to a place where you want the relationship to prosper so much (in a healthy way) that even your needs like food and sleep will not take priority.

Seeing this week was Easter, I would like to finish with a line for those amazing Christian readers out there who just celebrated the most holy of holidays.

God doesn’t need you, He wants you! Learn to want him back!

Have Fun

Dan

Hello everyone and welcome to The Thursday Blog.

“That’s it, that’s the intro?”

Are you disappointed?

Ahh now you miss the crazy long intros when just last week you thought I was crazy having the intro take over the entire episode.

Well that was then and this is now and until something new comes about naturally, that is all you are going to get for your intro.

Let’s get to today’s episode…now today’s episode is going to be completely different. It is time I hung up the writer’s cap for one week and get a guest writer. This is no ordinary guest writer but this is someone whose point of view could be so powerful it could radically change the history of the world which is impossible because it is history and it has already happened; and I am now thinking I should of written “future of the world”, but it is getting late and I don’t have time to alter it . This amazing guest writer is none other than…..

You!

I have a topic I want to share and I invite you, in fact I dare you, to have a think about it and write down your point of view, your life lesson, your revelation and I believe it will help someone. This is not about answering a question and being right but discussing a topic and exploring the possible answers. I have a lot of readers, I know because I check the stats from time to time (9am to 9pm daily) but a lot of you will simply read and enjoy. Now is the week to add your $84 dollars worth (because what you have to say is worth way more than 2 cents)

So comment on the topic, comment on other people’s comments, comment on how your day has been (it’s not really helpful but still appreciated).

Ok today’s topic is:

Needs and wants, which is greater?

We live in a society that is driven by its wants. The wants of the promotion, the new car, the house, the status, the girlfriend or boyfriend, the fame, the fortune, the new i-phone 3GSXTVF. These passions for the things we want have driven society to advance. There is a want for a faster car so it is created. There is a want for a better computer so it comes out on the market. There is a want for a machine that will work on your abs for only 3 minutes a day and has the convenience of 5 easy payments. The wants of our society have driven us to greatness. But is there a force more powerful?

The power of a need should never been underestimated. There have been hundreds if not thousands of cases of people doing the most incredible things to fill a need. A man once in Brisbane, Australia got attacked late at night by a shark. He made it to shore but lost a leg and was bleeding all over. He was at a deserted beach so he dragged himself 2 kilometres (1.25 miles), with a leg missing and losing blood every second, to finally get to a house that could help. He was driven by a need to live. This need took him further than he could normally go.

So the question is what is greater, needs or wants? There are many situations in life where this comes to play and I want to hear what you think?

Are wants selfish? Are needs boring? How do you determine what is a want and what is a need? These are some of the questions that need to be answered. I encourage you, have fun with this, step out, write something bold and think in a different way than you ever have before. This question isn’t just about if you want/need a new pair of shorts, but a question that is relevant in many parts of lives. Which is greater, needs or wants?

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of all ages, introducing the most amazing guest writer The Thursday Blog has ever seen. Please put your hands together for ……………. (that’s where you come in, have fun. Dan.)…

Hello and Welcome to another mind-boggling episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to be a prime suspect in a murder case.

The year was 1995 and in a little town called London, England a man by the name of Steven had just moved into a little unit in the suburb of “Swiss Cottage”. Steven had just arrived from sunny California and wanted to start a new life in the UK. The first few weeks he found it hard to get used to the raining, fog-filled, bleak weather that the Bristish get to enjoy during their summer. He was settling into his tiny unit that cost the same as the house he sold back home. The units are expensive because London is a popular place – it is all about location, location, location! He tried to buy a bigger place but he would have had to move far away from the city…… to about Amsterdam. It had been 3 weeks since he arrived and he was about to unpack his last box.

The one thing you need to know about Steven is that he hates his name. Not that there is anything wrong his first name but it is his last name that really lets him down. His last name was Jeff. Now there have been a lot of great Jeff’s over history but none of them had that name as their last. Why? Because it is a First Name. This has caused confusion all throughout Steven’s life. A typical experience when he makes a phone call to a company:

“Hello, welcome to (insert annoying company name here that generally makes you wait 40mins to talk to them), how can I help you?”

“Yes hi, this is Steven, how are you?”

Now Steven always started off his conversations being polite. Because he doesn’t get straight to the point and tell them how they can help him, but rather starts with showing concern for their well-being; most company employees cannot handle this.

(silence)

Steven: “Are you there?”

“Hello welcome to (insert annoying company name here that generally makes you wait 40mins to talk to them), how can I help you?”

“umm…. okay fine. I need a copy of my recent bill sent out to me please”.

“Certainly sir, can you tell me your last name?”

“Jeff”

“…………um thanks, and now can you tell me your last name sir?”

“I just did”

“…………. I’m sorry Mr Ijustdid we have no record of you”.

The other thing you need to know is that Steven has only one friend in London and that is a goldfish by the name of Smith. Yes Steven did give his goldfish a last name for a first name which goes to show that Steven is a funny guy that would be a great friend. Yet he had none.

There could be many theories as to why Steven was friend-less but none of them have been thought up because nobody knows him to do the pondering. Steven was happy spending his time with Smith keeping himself occupied by unpacking. But alas the last box was almost unpacked. Once Steven had finished putting away the last of his CD collection that he didn’t really know why he had kept (as they were now all stored on his itunes); he found himself not knowing what to do. He sat and opened the London Times. It was a Thursday, and as every other Thursday, the London Times published the latest episode. Don’t be surprised, of course they had to, once USA Today started the trend.

Steven started to read and he was inspired. Like many readers of the blog he started to believe in himself that he could go out there, make friends, and start the new life that he had always wanted. He jumped up and threw down the article in the air and yelled out “I CAN DO IT”…… Then he heard a SMASH!!

The Thursday Blog had flew out of his hand and had knocked over Smith’s fish bowl. There laid Smith on the ground, fighting for his life. Steven rushed to the vet hospital cradling a cup of water with Smith lying in it, only slightly turned on his back, but still holding on. As soon as the vet saw Smith, he rushed him into the O.R. leaving Steven to wait.

As Steven waited in the room that adequately named his activity (waiting!); he thought that if anything happened to Smith he would call the police and have the world famous Blog sent to jail for murder. Was this the end of The Thursday Blog????

I hope you think about that last question as the answer is obviously yes, seeing as you are reading the thing that is proposed to have finished 15 years ago.

After 8 hours of waiting the doctor walked out to let Steven know that Smith was as good as new. Steven jumped for joy and gave the doctor a hug. As he let go he realised that this Doctor is about his age, incredibly attractive, and more importantly, a woman. Steven plucked up the courage and asked her on a date. And that was the start of Steven’s new life.

So The Thursday Blog was cleared of any allegations of murder and is still around today (as you are reading it). The only crime The Thursday Blog has ever committed was to let this intro get totally out of hand and take up the entire episode.

Have Fun.

Dan.

Hello and Welcome to another deep episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to have survived water depths of over 13000 feet. Hidden beneath the water’s surface, lies a ship very far below. So far down it would take 10 Empire State buildings on top of each other to reach it. Unfortunately there is only 1 Empire State building in the world, and I don’t think it particularly wants to go underwater with 9 other replica’s to touch the ship – even if it got promised to be the one on the end that gets to touch it. On top of which what would the building do once it touched it? Further more where would we find a machine strong enough to hold the Empire State buildings in place without dropping them? This goes to show even if something is a fact, it doesn’t mean it’s practical.

In a recent deep dive to the Titanic they found some passenger’s documents; a necklace some old lady threw away; and a handwritten episode of The Thursday Blog. Yes, handwritten is one of the many ways you can subscribe to this World Famous Blog. Other ways include RSS feed, email subscription, and having me yell it out over the fence*. So no matter where you are you can get your weekly dose of The Thursday Blog – your mid-week guide to life.

As many of you would know I am on a weight-loss journey since the start of this year. I used to weigh 55kg (around 121 pounds) which is very light but in the heathy range. Then I put on 14kg in a month and continued to put on a bit over the years until I reached 82.7kg (around 182 pounds). You can get the whole story here and then read here. Now a few months on things have really changed and I am starting to think about this week’s topic. This episode is called:

“The Man That Once Was”

I am starting to look like the man that once was, but at the end of the day is that the direction I should be taking? In the world of weight-loss many people were not always their current size, and spend years trying to get back to the person they once were. This transfers over to health and fitness – many people there have a story about how they used to ride, used to run track, used to have a “killer serve”, used to dance the night away. This can also be found in relationships as we look back to the time when we supposedly fell in love and now it feels different.

So we set the goals to get back to the man or woman that once was. We jump back into training, we join the gym, we set up a date night with our partners, we go to church, we call our parents, we go on a diet. All of this to try and regain what is seemingly lost. Whilst all of these things are a great positive thing to do, I would like to propose that it is the wrong motivation.

I once met a girl who told me a story about how life was for her, the previous September. She was healthy, happy, had a job, had a bunch of friends, got involved in a church (I don’t care who you are, it is a good thing to do); and felt like things were going great. Now it was January and she was still healthy, still working, still at church, still had friends; but something was different. She felt like last September she was growing as a person at a phenomenal rate and now it was January and it wasn’t the same. She kept saying to me that she had to get back to the way she was in September. It has been 7 years now and she has left her circle of friends and is nowhere to be found. I would assume she didn’t make her goal.

Why do we dream of the past and not the future. Why do we pour all our efforts into recreating the person we used to be, instead of discovering the possibilities of who we could be.

As I lose more weight I get closer and closer to 70.5 kg (around 155 pounds). That will mean that my BMI will be under 25 and I will not be overweight anymore. I will look closer to the man that I once thought I could never become again…but that is okay; I will be better.

I am currently at 70.9kg, 400 grams to go.

Have Fun

Dan

*only available to my neighbours

Hello and welcome to another mesmerising episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to be used by a stage hypnotist. Barry Marvel was widely regarded as the best hypnotist there was. This was only said by those people who had met him in person or seen his show. That brings up the thought that he wasn’t really the greatest, but just hypnotising those who saw the show to say those things. If this is the case it would be an extraordinary feat and would most likely earn him the title of ‘greatest ever’, so that thought can be laid to sleep…..when I click my fingers.

Barry was famous for being able to hypnotise almost anyone even if they tried to resist. Towards the end of his career he came across an audience member who was just unshakeable. Dale Urnest from Kentucky was a burley truck driver and spent most of his days saying his favourite word “nope”. When Barry tried to get him under, it looked like it was working. He told Dale that he was to bark like a dog when he clapped his hands. Dale opened his eyes, Barry said “bark like a dog” and clapped, and Dale said “nope”. Barry tried everything and almost resorted to begging (which may have worked but makes for an uninteresting show), until he had a brain wave. He got out his laptop and said “oh look at this, this week’s episode of The Thursday Blog says we should all bark like a dog”.

The entire audience including Dale barked.

Is it just me or are these intros out of control. I love it.

Today was a really important day and it provides our subject matter for this week’s episode called:

“The Marathon Runners’ Sprint”

Today was my last day at my current store/branch and tomorrow I start at a new store. Some people get moved between stores a lot, but this will only be the 2nd move since starting with the bank over 2 years ago – and at my current store I was a part of the original team that opened the store 16 months ago. There have been a lot of good times at my store but I don’t want to focus on them. Let’s focus on the negatives.

Hang on, the negatives??? This coming from a man who created an episode called “The Glass is 1/8 full”? This coming from a man who has the song “always look on the bright side of life” by Monty Python as his ringtone; this coming from the man who no matter what he looks like in the morning still believes he is the Sexy Beast????

I am not going to talk about any negative experiences or even about the positive ones, because this platform is not the avenue for such things. Over the last 16 months there have been some great experiences and some challenging and sometimes negative experiences; and I want to look at how I feel about them now.

But first, let’s talk about the Biggest Loser. The TV show, not a person.

Today on the Australian version the contestants ran a half marathon in training for the full marathon they will run in a month or so. It showed the contestants going through the challenge and what surprised me is how they all finished. Some of them ran all the way but some of them couldn’t. When you weigh 130 kg (286 pounds) you try running the whole 21 km (13 miles). One of them even after running fine for the first 15 km (9.3 miles), started to walk and then just collapsed. After being cleared by a medic she walked the rest of the way. Even when the walkers came to the finish line, they were running and looked good. After they finished they didn’t collapse but seemed as though they could keep going even though they chose not to.

This is a phenomenon I like to call the Marathon runner’s sprint. After everything they had gone through, when the end was in sight there was a sprint inside of them and the pain from the journey seemed far away.

This is exactly what I have experienced in my last day at work today. I have passed the finish line, remembering the good times and already forgetting about the painful challenges. I could go on and do another year at my store, though I choose to move on.

Remembering this in my day-to-day life can be useful as we can see pain for what it will ultimately become: an afterthought!

Have Fun

Dan

Hello everyone and Welcome to another impulse-buying episode of The Thursday Blog. The only blog in history to be featured in a Sears (department store) catalogue. In May 2009 Sears decided to sell a top-of-the-range computer called the Vartio made by IBM. It had all the bells and whistles, and because it was so jam-packed full of the latest technology they left no room for great value. The price point was a good 60% higher then other computers on sale. Then the Head of Sales had an idea and they advertised “IBM Varito $7900, comes with a free subscription to The Thursday Blog”.

This idea was hailed to be a great success because the general public would not mind paying so much for the computer if they always got the life-changing value of The Blog subcription. Sale day came and the strategy failed. The general public were excited by the offer but seeing that The Thursday Blog was just a freebee thrown in, everybody thought that it wouldn’t be the real deal, just some cheap imitation probably written on a Monday. The Head of Sales under the pressure of losing his head (being demoted, as in not the head anymore, not killed) had one final idea. The next catalogue read “The Official Thursday Blog Subscription $7900, comes with a free IBM Varito”. They were sold out by lunch time.

For all those who thought that since this world-famous Blog has turned One, that there might of been a different intro. Happily they were wrong! The thought of changing it did cross my mind but I am still having too much fun with the intros so I soldiered on.

Today’s episode is something I have been pondering on for at least 75 mins, but I assure you that it was some high-quality pondering as it will be this week’s episode called:

“Everybody wants to be famous”

Whilst I was taking part in a sport that I am quite talented at – Surfing…Channel Surfing (play Bond music) – I discovered the final episode of a great little game show called “I survived a Japanese game show”. Basically they take a group of Americans to play the Japanese game show called “Majide”, which means in Japanese slang “Seriously”. For what I saw of it it was a fun show where the 2 finalists had to complete the following challenges:

* Sit on a chair that spun at 35 miles (56km) per hour and get dizzy
* Ride a kids tricycle over a bridge
* Sit on massive balloons that resembled eggs to pop them and have the yoke go everywhere
* Craw under a platform through a pit of flowers (the yoke made it stick to you)
* Grab velcro pads for your hands and climb your way up a vertical velcro treadmill wall
* Eat 3 Japanese food balls (incredbily hard to chew)
* Grab a rope and swing through a door, one made of paper (that made you win) or the other made of brick (that made you hurt)

So obviously it was the greatest show on earth.

The part that got me was not the crazy game but before the final challenge they took the two finalists to a bit of a ceremony. There were about 200 people spilt down the middle by a red carpet and they were screaming as the finalists came out. They were signing autographs, high-fiving people and the crowd were cheering them on. Through this the finalists were blown away, they were loving it. They both got presented with return flights to Japan to visit again. One of the guys commented later in the studio “I am going to come back soon and sign some more autographs”.

Now this is where my negative voice piped up. “Sign some more autographs, not likely. There are 200 people who know you in a country of 127 million, you won’t be asked for autographs when you come back!” After I told myself to shut up I thought about fame and how it is a real desire in everybody to be known. Both contestants said later “this has been the greatest experience of my life” and they really meant it. There were only 200 people cheering them on but that was enough for them to believe that they were a superstar.

This highlights a very unique opportunity for us all. It does not take much to make people feel like they are known, valued and can conquer anything that they set out to achieve. For these guys it was 200 cheering people, all of them whom they did not know…but for someone else it could just be a Twitter @ reply from someone they respect. It could be at the next event greeting people with a “Wow, thanks for coming”. It could be a comment on someone’s blog to let them know that you have read what they are sharing with the world. It could even be as simple as a handshake.

Everybody wants to be famous and I am everybody’s biggest fan.

Have Fun

Dan

Hello and Welcome to another soothing episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to be turned into a relaxing bedtime CD for insomniacs. It has worked on all users except those already delirious with exhaustion, that when given to them they used it as a pillow.

Segway into bed and that is where I am now with part of me wishing I was in Vegas. Not for the nightlife, the gambling and the 99cent shrimp cocktails; but because that is where two of my good friends Dave and Nath have gone to hang out with other friends of mine – PJ, Jim and Yancy, Rob, Nat etc. Yes it is Napkin Conference and it starts today. If you missed out then never do it again and go in 2011.

Today’s episode is deep, with a twist of lemon and it is called:

“Same Same, but Different”

Thailand is where you will hear the first half of this saying. The people who own shops at the markets or on the side of the road will try and connect with their potential customers. Generally they will pick out a feature “you have black hair” and then point to their own hair “Same Same”. The funniest is when they introduce a topic hoping for a ‘yes’… “Hey, you like ACDC?” “Ummm, yeah”…”Same same, black and black, same same”. This is a really clever sales technique because as a tourist it is always nice to feel like you’re fitting in with the locals, even if they are trying to sell you something. A genius, maybe even one of the store owners coined the phrase “Same Same, but Different” to be a national quote to appear on t-shirts that are sold for $8; or $12 if you are really bad at shopping.

How does this relate to anything. Well it relates to Vegas, more so my two very good friends Dave and Nath.

Nath is the Children’s Pastor for the Hills Campus of Hillsong Church, and Dave the Children’s Pastor of Hillsong Australia. So that makes Dave, Nathan’s boss and that makes Dave my…………..friend.

Now I am going to put an end to a popular belief that is around for years. Dave is not my boss, and I do not work for Hillsong. Don’t feel weird that you thought I did because you are one of a million other people that think the same. I get twitter messages saying “I chatted to your boss today” and I am left thinking “how in the world do you know Isabella?” Now I don’t want you to think I would not like to work for Dave because that would be an honor, but I know all the people who work for Dave and he only has the best of the best and I am not quite at their level yet.

Deep down though I think Dave really wants to be my boss. One time I was buying him some Thai food and he requested that I ask for extra cashews. I said that I am not sure if you can get extra cashews and he said “tell them your boss really wants them”, to which I retorted “how about I tell them that somebody’s boss wants them!”

Now I do a lot of work for Dave on my days off and I love it. I work from Sunday to Thursday and I generally spend Friday’s with Dave working on projects. In a lot of ways on those days I feel like one of the staff, not a guest but a part of the team. The only problem is Sunday comes and I can’t be around. I plan well in advance for our big events to take time off to be there but more often that not things will come up that I am invited to but are unable to make. There have been so many times I have missed out on things that I really wanted to be a part of but I was not able to do due to my commitments. I want to be the same as my two mates, but I am different.

There are a lot of people out there in my shoes and I want to say this – it is ok to be Same Same, but Different. In fact, the fact that you are different makes what you do special. Maybe you can only help out 4 hours a week even though you want to do more -well that is ok. Start seeing yourself as a specialist. It takes a lot of skill to do what you do: having a job, going to school or uni, having a family, then still finding time to invest into something else worthwhile. It is great to be the same, but it is also great to be different.

So what do I do as my full time job? Well, the guy who is commonly known as Funny Man Dan to many people, is currently a Bank Manager. Talk about different.

Have Fun

Dan.

Hello everyone and welcome to another cork-popping episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to have a prime-time 3 hour birthday special.

As with all birthday shin digs, when it comes to the speeches there are 3 common factors. They are always funny, they are always meaningful and they are always long. I can guarantee the last factor is in play, as I asked some readers to write a small testimony and I received three-paged epistles. Also because of the calibre of the people who wrote in I can guarantee the first factor and even a bit of the second.

So strap in for the biggest Thursday Blog episode you have ever seen and to ensure you read it right to the end I put Jim Wideman there. Hey no skipping forward. Jim is like Santa, he knows…..

First cab off the rank is my good friend Sam Luce. We both feel like nerds when we say that because Sam is the only one of the group I haven’t met face to face. Oh yes, we are an internet couple…. I mean mates!!!!

“Over Christmas my wife and I put on a few extra pounds. We were reading your blog post about weight loss and the most amazing thing happened. By the time we got to the end of the post we both had lost 20 pounds thanks to the miraculous Thursday Blog. I may not be your ‘biggest’ fan now but I am definitely the ‘biggest loser’ who reads your blog. Thanks FMD.”

Yancy Richmond is a rock star. I am not just saying that because I know her like an office lady who’s friend competed in “idol” and got through to the 2nd round along with 12,000 other people, so the office lady brags she knows a rock star.

“Until reading ‘The Thursday Blog’ my life was just cold, boring and so not Australian. I’d always looked up to Lucy. You know the vetavitavegamin red-head but I never met her face to face and she never had a blog either so that’s why it’s easy for me to cast my vote for the best funny blog ever. Funny Man Dan makes the world a happier and better place, at least on Thursdays or sometimes Wednesdays when he posts early. He might not smash grapes with his feet but I’m sure he eats Vegemite cause that’s what Aussies do. I know he’s a fan of the Tim Tam Slam. He has personally provided not only instruction but Tim Tam’s to me and my family and they were really good. Just another reason I trust the words of FMD. I salute The Thursday Blog. Happy Birthday. Maybe FMD could shoot a video of Tim Tam Slam for your U.S. viewers/readers to enjoy.”

Natalie Miller is one part of a very amazing show called Sally Squad, but as you can tell by the name she is not the star of the show. I sent a request for Nat to write but it was intercepted by my good friend Sally and instead she wrote in. What an honour.

“Life in a suitcase can be dull and rather restricting. Natalie takes me out on occasion but otherwise it is a tough life being a puppet (cue violins). Thank goodness for my weekly survival guide – the Thursday Blog. Without FMD’s latest inspiring blog, I just wouldn’t make it through another week! Sally from The Sally Squad.”

Barry Newton is best known as his alter ego Squirt the Clown, and is an incredibly funny children’s performer. Funny as in ha ha, and also funny as in slight nervous laughter as you are not quite sure what is he going to do. The 2nd type of funny is present in his response.

“My Parents-In-Law were terrible, seriously cranky and she was a shocking cook. I couldn’t see a way out of my dilemma since the local police took my taser away after our last family ‘incident’.

Then, smack bang in the middle of my week, I read The Thursday Blog’s entry on “The Inner Workings of a Criminal Mastermind”. Then it hit me! Call it inspiration, desperation, intimidation; call it what you will but I felt my life being guided toward a solution.

I drove to my local Bingo Parlour, dropped the In-Laws off at reception, did a whip round of the rooms till I found a couple I liked, hurried to the car and got out of there like a pygmy villager running from a lavaflow. The wash-up is that we are on the run, eating off the dash of the car and bathing in public pools but the silver lining is that my new ‘In-Laws’ are very well mannered, calm, quiet and her Risotto is pretty good.

Thank you Dan! YOU are my inspiration! Squirt the Clown.”

David Wakerley is a very special man and not just the kind of special that will get him parking spaces close to the shops. He has guest blogged for The Thursday Blog, had an episode dedicated to him and he also has the whole world think he is my boss. I do look up to Dave with the 8cm of extra height he has and I was expectant that his testimony would be one of the most encouraging paragraphs of writing in history.

“The year was 1996 and I had just finished high school. After the emotional rollercoaster that was graduation I returned to the home I shared with four other people… let’s call them my family… because that’s who they were. I pulled my New Kids on the Block tape out of my Walkman, took off my hammer pants and flopped onto the couch to catch up on some Macgyver on the VCR. That’s when it hit me like that Boys 2 Men song, ‘I had come to the end of the road’… What was I going to do from here? Where was my life going?

Well, there being no Google my only option was the local library. Thirty minutes later I sat in front of the microfiche machine and after seven hours I made a startling discovery.

There hidden behind archived newspapers and well researched academia with it’s lucid and well referenced source material with precise conclusions and logical conclusions was a hidden gem.

The Thursday Blog would not appear for well over a decade but here it was in glowing green and black… an article disscusing the future of this network called the ‘internet’. Well I got the heck out of there, found me some dial up and signed up for a hotmail account.

What does this have to do with Funny Man Dan and the Thursday Blog? Only the good Lord knows, and let’s be honest he’s slightly confused about the whole thing as well.”

Rob Bradbury is a nut case . Sure he is one of the most well-respected and highly sought-after children’s ministry speaker in the world, but if you ever get the chance to spend a day with him it will be the most amount of fun you will ever have.

“For many years now I have had a strong aversion to Thursdays. Every Wednesday my skin would become clammy and I would break into a sweat as the clock raced towards that day of dread that kept resurfacing with mechanical precision, THURSDAY.

It all goes back to when I was a little boy, my dog Boofer was dognapped from our backyard. I tried to sleep that night, but simply couldn’t. One week on and Boof still wasn’t found, I lit a ‘Smacko’ in the backyard in remembrance of the mighty K9.

Sadly I never saw Boof again. For some bizarre fictional reason, Thursday’s had become the day I had connected with the loss of my old mate. I renamed Thursday, Boof Day. My calendar was even modified to M T W B F S S

And so it continued, every Thursday, er Boofday I thought it might always be that way, I thought Boofday would forever be a downer.

But then I heard about a blog - a blog like no other! A blog filled with awe and wonder, history, geography, home economics 101 and sudoku. A bog that sent my brain racing like a rollercoaster at Movie World. This blog was created by a friend to the universe, FMD.

Thankyou Dan for bringing some fun back into my Thursdays, thankyou for your wisdom and crosswords, and Boof if you’re out there read the blog!”

I was very nervous the first time I met Jim Wideman. I was standing next to Dave (who had met him before) and he said hello and didn’t introduce me. I stood on the outside of the conversation for 5 minutes looking like a helpless puppy until Jim realised that Dave had not done his job properly and he introduced himself. The next time I saw him I politely said “Hello Mr Wideman” and he said “Boy, do I look like my father? My name is Jim”. Finally when he busted Nathan McLean’s chops for going shopping for ‘tops’, a long lasting friendship was born.

“Dan, Congratulations on the birthday of the Thursday Blog (my personal favorite blog on the internet). I don’t know what I’d do without the Thursday Blog in my life. It was the inspiration for my new book ‘Beat The Clock-Effective Strategies for Time Management’. In fact for the past 30 years Dan has been mentoring me in many areas of ministry, business, life, Tim Tam-Slamming and many other areas. You see I get the Thursday Blog on Wednesday’s which gives me the edge I need each week and puts me a day ahead. I’ve found by reading the Thursday Blog it gives me the hope to carry on when I’m about to run out of gas from the weight of the heaviness of life, that being a Children’s Ministry Guru can cause. Thanks Dan! I’ll never forget you taking me to the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge – it was fun to jump off screaming like schoolgirls. I’ll never forget how cold the water was. It is a memory I’ll never forget, in fact, that and ‘Top Shopping’ with Nath McLean made my trip to Australia perfect. So here’s to the Thursday Blog my personal leadership secret that has made a difference in my life.”

So that concludes The Thursday Blogs Birthday Celebration. Over the last 52 weeks This Blog has seen over 60,000 visits from 32 countries and I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. So as another year comes around I have nothing to say but those famous words..

Have Fun

Dan.

Hello everyone and welcome to another soothing episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to be made into a range of relaxing essential bath products. There is a huge range of soaps, oils, bubble bath, and body butter all made with bits of recycled paper with that beloved Blog written on it. Customers around the world have commented that not only do they feel relaxed but they also feel calm about situations in their lives where they don’t know what to do. That is because they are relaxing themselves in The Thursday Blog – your mid-week guide to life.

Did anyone realise that the whole first paragraph was just to be able to use the catch phrase. I am so vain…….. I bet I think this blog is about me. Well it is!

Speaking about this Blog and about myself being vain I want to invite you all to The Thursday Blog 1st birthday party!!! Next week will mark the 52nd post and will finish off a great year of world class posts. I have been inundated with requests from people to share their testimonies of how this blog has helped them over the year, so I am going to let them post next week. There will be celebrations, food, a live band, fireworks, monstertrucks, F11 jets and a random peddler selling hot dogs. I will see you and all of your friends, family and neighbours there.

Now why would someone like me think that you would bring everyone you know to read next weeks post? Well I will tell you in this weeks episode called:

“Extra – Ordinary”

I have always been a big fan of musicals. When I was in college (years 11-12) our school was famous for its big productions. Now I know a lot of people say that but we really were. In a town of 25,000 we played 10 shows over 2 weeks with all nights and most matinees sold out with about 700 people (that is all that could fit). We put on a musical every two years so students got to be in at least one. When it was my turn I didn’t get the lead role of Adam in “The Children of Eden” instead I got the role of the Snake or more commonly known as the devil himself. I had one scene, one song and one hell of a dance routine (pun intended). The final night I gave it everything I had and when I finished my song on one knee with Eve sitting on my other (after singing the highest and most powerful note of my life), the crowd burst into a roar. This was a big moment in my life.

The very next day I woke up very late after a long cast party, where I did behave myself (except for getting my hair shaved off), and had nothing amazing to do. Every day for a week I was working on my routine to perform it that night to the joy of the crowd, but that day I didn’t need to practice because I was not performing that night. The buzz of the performance had started to wear off and I was worried about just how ordinary life was becoming. I didn’t want an ordinary life, but an extraordinary one, however it was starting to look like that was not the case. Then I had a flash back.

2 years earlier I was in the same theatre – not on stage but in the audience. The play was called Pippen and my brother was in the band. It was a fantastic show that had everything. There was one song that always stuck in my mind called “Extraordinary”. It was not the lyrics of the song that stuck but the way it was sung. They prounced the word “Ex -tra -ord -inary” and that was only because it fit well with the timing of the song; but it caused a thought that I still have with me today.

Extraordinary is spelt “extra” “ordinary” but what I don’t get is that that would mean something would have more of the ordinary. I have been told it means adding extra to your ordinary but that is not how the language works. If you put extra in front of a word it means you get more of that word. Then I realised that that is exactly what it means.

We shouldn’t be chasing around for the next big thrill but looking at doing the same ordinary things and doing more of it. Marriage is the perfect example. After I married my beautiful Princess we started doing the most ordinary things together. Washing up, cleaning the house, reading, watching movies, and talking; but over the years of doing more and more of those things we have built an extraordinary marriage.

Don’t be chasing quick highs just to be let down soon after, but learn to enjoy more and more of the ordinary and look to what extraordinary heights it will take you to.

Have Fun.

Dan