This idea was hailed to be a great success because the general public would not mind paying so much for the computer if they always got the life-changing value of The Blog subcription. Sale day came and the strategy failed. The general public were excited by the offer but seeing that The Thursday Blog was just a freebee thrown in, everybody thought that it wouldn’t be the real deal, just some cheap imitation probably written on a Monday. The Head of Sales under the pressure of losing his head (being demoted, as in not the head anymore, not killed) had one final idea. The next catalogue read “The Official Thursday Blog Subscription $7900, comes with a free IBM Varito”. They were sold out by lunch time.

For all those who thought that since this world-famous Blog has turned One, that there might of been a different intro. Happily they were wrong! The thought of changing it did cross my mind but I am still having too much fun with the intros so I soldiered on.

Today’s episode is something I have been pondering on for at least 75 mins, but I assure you that it was some high-quality pondering as it will be this week’s episode called:

“Everybody wants to be famous”

Whilst I was taking part in a sport that I am quite talented at – Surfing…Channel Surfing (play Bond music) – I discovered the final episode of a great little game show called “I survived a Japanese game show”. Basically they take a group of Americans to play the Japanese game show called “Majide”, which means in Japanese slang “Seriously”. For what I saw of it it was a fun show where the 2 finalists had to complete the following challenges:

* Sit on a chair that spun at 35 miles (56km) per hour and get dizzy
* Ride a kids tricycle over a bridge
* Sit on massive balloons that resembled eggs to pop them and have the yoke go everywhere
* Craw under a platform through a pit of flowers (the yoke made it stick to you)
* Grab velcro pads for your hands and climb your way up a vertical velcro treadmill wall
* Eat 3 Japanese food balls (incredbily hard to chew)
* Grab a rope and swing through a door, one made of paper (that made you win) or the other made of brick (that made you hurt)

So obviously it was the greatest show on earth.

The part that got me was not the crazy game but before the final challenge they took the two finalists to a bit of a ceremony. There were about 200 people spilt down the middle by a red carpet and they were screaming as the finalists came out. They were signing autographs, high-fiving people and the crowd were cheering them on. Through this the finalists were blown away, they were loving it. They both got presented with return flights to Japan to visit again. One of the guys commented later in the studio “I am going to come back soon and sign some more autographs”.

Now this is where my negative voice piped up. “Sign some more autographs, not likely. There are 200 people who know you in a country of 127 million, you won’t be asked for autographs when you come back!” After I told myself to shut up I thought about fame and how it is a real desire in everybody to be known. Both contestants said later “this has been the greatest experience of my life” and they really meant it. There were only 200 people cheering them on but that was enough for them to believe that they were a superstar.

This highlights a very unique opportunity for us all. It does not take much to make people feel like they are known, valued and can conquer anything that they set out to achieve. For these guys it was 200 cheering people, all of them whom they did not know…but for someone else it could just be a Twitter @ reply from someone they respect. It could be at the next event greeting people with a “Wow, thanks for coming”. It could be a comment on someone’s blog to let them know that you have read what they are sharing with the world. It could even be as simple as a handshake.

Everybody wants to be famous and I am everybody’s biggest fan.

Have Fun

Dan

Segway into bed and that is where I am now with part of me wishing I was in Vegas. Not for the nightlife, the gambling and the 99cent shrimp cocktails; but because that is where two of my good friends Dave and Nath have gone to hang out with other friends of mine – PJ, Jim and Yancy, Rob, Nat etc. Yes it is Napkin Conference and it starts today. If you missed out then never do it again and go in 2011.

Today’s episode is deep, with a twist of lemon and it is called:

“Same Same, but Different”

Thailand is where you will hear the first half of this saying. The people who own shops at the markets or on the side of the road will try and connect with their potential customers. Generally they will pick out a feature “you have black hair” and then point to their own hair “Same Same”. The funniest is when they introduce a topic hoping for a ‘yes’… “Hey, you like ACDC?” “Ummm, yeah”…”Same same, black and black, same same”. This is a really clever sales technique because as a tourist it is always nice to feel like you’re fitting in with the locals, even if they are trying to sell you something. A genius, maybe even one of the store owners coined the phrase “Same Same, but Different” to be a national quote to appear on t-shirts that are sold for $8; or $12 if you are really bad at shopping.

How does this relate to anything. Well it relates to Vegas, more so my two very good friends Dave and Nath.

Nath is the Children’s Pastor for the Hills Campus of Hillsong Church, and Dave the Children’s Pastor of Hillsong Australia. So that makes Dave, Nathan’s boss and that makes Dave my…………..friend.

Now I am going to put an end to a popular belief that is around for years. Dave is not my boss, and I do not work for Hillsong. Don’t feel weird that you thought I did because you are one of a million other people that think the same. I get twitter messages saying “I chatted to your boss today” and I am left thinking “how in the world do you know Isabella?” Now I don’t want you to think I would not like to work for Dave because that would be an honor, but I know all the people who work for Dave and he only has the best of the best and I am not quite at their level yet.

Deep down though I think Dave really wants to be my boss. One time I was buying him some Thai food and he requested that I ask for extra cashews. I said that I am not sure if you can get extra cashews and he said “tell them your boss really wants them”, to which I retorted “how about I tell them that somebody’s boss wants them!”

Now I do a lot of work for Dave on my days off and I love it. I work from Sunday to Thursday and I generally spend Friday’s with Dave working on projects. In a lot of ways on those days I feel like one of the staff, not a guest but a part of the team. The only problem is Sunday comes and I can’t be around. I plan well in advance for our big events to take time off to be there but more often that not things will come up that I am invited to but are unable to make. There have been so many times I have missed out on things that I really wanted to be a part of but I was not able to do due to my commitments. I want to be the same as my two mates, but I am different.

There are a lot of people out there in my shoes and I want to say this – it is ok to be Same Same, but Different. In fact, the fact that you are different makes what you do special. Maybe you can only help out 4 hours a week even though you want to do more -well that is ok. Start seeing yourself as a specialist. It takes a lot of skill to do what you do: having a job, going to school or uni, having a family, then still finding time to invest into something else worthwhile. It is great to be the same, but it is also great to be different.

So what do I do as my full time job? Well, the guy who is commonly known as Funny Man Dan to many people, is currently a Bank Manager. Talk about different.

Have Fun

Dan.

As with all birthday shin digs, when it comes to the speeches there are 3 common factors. They are always funny, they are always meaningful and they are always long. I can guarantee the last factor is in play, as I asked some readers to write a small testimony and I received three-paged epistles. Also because of the calibre of the people who wrote in I can guarantee the first factor and even a bit of the second.

So strap in for the biggest Thursday Blog episode you have ever seen and to ensure you read it right to the end I put Jim Wideman there. Hey no skipping forward. Jim is like Santa, he knows…..

First cab off the rank is my good friend Sam Luce. We both feel like nerds when we say that because Sam is the only one of the group I haven’t met face to face. Oh yes, we are an internet couple…. I mean mates!!!!

“Over Christmas my wife and I put on a few extra pounds. We were reading your blog post about weight loss and the most amazing thing happened. By the time we got to the end of the post we both had lost 20 pounds thanks to the miraculous Thursday Blog. I may not be your ‘biggest’ fan now but I am definitely the ‘biggest loser’ who reads your blog. Thanks FMD.”

Yancy Richmond is a rock star. I am not just saying that because I know her like an office lady who’s friend competed in “idol” and got through to the 2nd round along with 12,000 other people, so the office lady brags she knows a rock star.

“Until reading ‘The Thursday Blog’ my life was just cold, boring and so not Australian. I’d always looked up to Lucy. You know the vetavitavegamin red-head but I never met her face to face and she never had a blog either so that’s why it’s easy for me to cast my vote for the best funny blog ever. Funny Man Dan makes the world a happier and better place, at least on Thursdays or sometimes Wednesdays when he posts early. He might not smash grapes with his feet but I’m sure he eats Vegemite cause that’s what Aussies do. I know he’s a fan of the Tim Tam Slam. He has personally provided not only instruction but Tim Tam’s to me and my family and they were really good. Just another reason I trust the words of FMD. I salute The Thursday Blog. Happy Birthday. Maybe FMD could shoot a video of Tim Tam Slam for your U.S. viewers/readers to enjoy.”

Natalie Miller is one part of a very amazing show called Sally Squad, but as you can tell by the name she is not the star of the show. I sent a request for Nat to write but it was intercepted by my good friend Sally and instead she wrote in. What an honour.

“Life in a suitcase can be dull and rather restricting. Natalie takes me out on occasion but otherwise it is a tough life being a puppet (cue violins). Thank goodness for my weekly survival guide – the Thursday Blog. Without FMD’s latest inspiring blog, I just wouldn’t make it through another week! Sally from The Sally Squad.”

Barry Newton is best known as his alter ego Squirt the Clown, and is an incredibly funny children’s performer. Funny as in ha ha, and also funny as in slight nervous laughter as you are not quite sure what is he going to do. The 2nd type of funny is present in his response.

“My Parents-In-Law were terrible, seriously cranky and she was a shocking cook. I couldn’t see a way out of my dilemma since the local police took my taser away after our last family ‘incident’.

Then, smack bang in the middle of my week, I read The Thursday Blog’s entry on “The Inner Workings of a Criminal Mastermind”. Then it hit me! Call it inspiration, desperation, intimidation; call it what you will but I felt my life being guided toward a solution.

I drove to my local Bingo Parlour, dropped the In-Laws off at reception, did a whip round of the rooms till I found a couple I liked, hurried to the car and got out of there like a pygmy villager running from a lavaflow. The wash-up is that we are on the run, eating off the dash of the car and bathing in public pools but the silver lining is that my new ‘In-Laws’ are very well mannered, calm, quiet and her Risotto is pretty good.

Thank you Dan! YOU are my inspiration! Squirt the Clown.”

David Wakerley is a very special man and not just the kind of special that will get him parking spaces close to the shops. He has guest blogged for The Thursday Blog, had an episode dedicated to him and he also has the whole world think he is my boss. I do look up to Dave with the 8cm of extra height he has and I was expectant that his testimony would be one of the most encouraging paragraphs of writing in history.

“The year was 1996 and I had just finished high school. After the emotional rollercoaster that was graduation I returned to the home I shared with four other people… let’s call them my family… because that’s who they were. I pulled my New Kids on the Block tape out of my Walkman, took off my hammer pants and flopped onto the couch to catch up on some Macgyver on the VCR. That’s when it hit me like that Boys 2 Men song, ‘I had come to the end of the road’… What was I going to do from here? Where was my life going?

Well, there being no Google my only option was the local library. Thirty minutes later I sat in front of the microfiche machine and after seven hours I made a startling discovery.

There hidden behind archived newspapers and well researched academia with it’s lucid and well referenced source material with precise conclusions and logical conclusions was a hidden gem.

The Thursday Blog would not appear for well over a decade but here it was in glowing green and black… an article disscusing the future of this network called the ‘internet’. Well I got the heck out of there, found me some dial up and signed up for a hotmail account.

What does this have to do with Funny Man Dan and the Thursday Blog? Only the good Lord knows, and let’s be honest he’s slightly confused about the whole thing as well.”

Rob Bradbury is a nut case . Sure he is one of the most well-respected and highly sought-after children’s ministry speaker in the world, but if you ever get the chance to spend a day with him it will be the most amount of fun you will ever have.

“For many years now I have had a strong aversion to Thursdays. Every Wednesday my skin would become clammy and I would break into a sweat as the clock raced towards that day of dread that kept resurfacing with mechanical precision, THURSDAY.

It all goes back to when I was a little boy, my dog Boofer was dognapped from our backyard. I tried to sleep that night, but simply couldn’t. One week on and Boof still wasn’t found, I lit a ‘Smacko’ in the backyard in remembrance of the mighty K9.

Sadly I never saw Boof again. For some bizarre fictional reason, Thursday’s had become the day I had connected with the loss of my old mate. I renamed Thursday, Boof Day. My calendar was even modified to M T W B F S S

And so it continued, every Thursday, er Boofday I thought it might always be that way, I thought Boofday would forever be a downer.

But then I heard about a blog - a blog like no other! A blog filled with awe and wonder, history, geography, home economics 101 and sudoku. A bog that sent my brain racing like a rollercoaster at Movie World. This blog was created by a friend to the universe, FMD.

Thankyou Dan for bringing some fun back into my Thursdays, thankyou for your wisdom and crosswords, and Boof if you’re out there read the blog!”

I was very nervous the first time I met Jim Wideman. I was standing next to Dave (who had met him before) and he said hello and didn’t introduce me. I stood on the outside of the conversation for 5 minutes looking like a helpless puppy until Jim realised that Dave had not done his job properly and he introduced himself. The next time I saw him I politely said “Hello Mr Wideman” and he said “Boy, do I look like my father? My name is Jim”. Finally when he busted Nathan McLean’s chops for going shopping for ‘tops’, a long lasting friendship was born.

“Dan, Congratulations on the birthday of the Thursday Blog (my personal favorite blog on the internet). I don’t know what I’d do without the Thursday Blog in my life. It was the inspiration for my new book ‘Beat The Clock-Effective Strategies for Time Management’. In fact for the past 30 years Dan has been mentoring me in many areas of ministry, business, life, Tim Tam-Slamming and many other areas. You see I get the Thursday Blog on Wednesday’s which gives me the edge I need each week and puts me a day ahead. I’ve found by reading the Thursday Blog it gives me the hope to carry on when I’m about to run out of gas from the weight of the heaviness of life, that being a Children’s Ministry Guru can cause. Thanks Dan! I’ll never forget you taking me to the top of the Sydney Harbour Bridge – it was fun to jump off screaming like schoolgirls. I’ll never forget how cold the water was. It is a memory I’ll never forget, in fact, that and ‘Top Shopping’ with Nath McLean made my trip to Australia perfect. So here’s to the Thursday Blog my personal leadership secret that has made a difference in my life.”

So that concludes The Thursday Blogs Birthday Celebration. Over the last 52 weeks This Blog has seen over 60,000 visits from 32 countries and I want to say thank you to each and every one of you. So as another year comes around I have nothing to say but those famous words..

Have Fun

Dan.

Did anyone realise that the whole first paragraph was just to be able to use the catch phrase. I am so vain…….. I bet I think this blog is about me. Well it is!

Speaking about this Blog and about myself being vain I want to invite you all to The Thursday Blog 1st birthday party!!! Next week will mark the 52nd post and will finish off a great year of world class posts. I have been inundated with requests from people to share their testimonies of how this blog has helped them over the year, so I am going to let them post next week. There will be celebrations, food, a live band, fireworks, monstertrucks, F11 jets and a random peddler selling hot dogs. I will see you and all of your friends, family and neighbours there.

Now why would someone like me think that you would bring everyone you know to read next weeks post? Well I will tell you in this weeks episode called:

“Extra – Ordinary”

I have always been a big fan of musicals. When I was in college (years 11-12) our school was famous for its big productions. Now I know a lot of people say that but we really were. In a town of 25,000 we played 10 shows over 2 weeks with all nights and most matinees sold out with about 700 people (that is all that could fit). We put on a musical every two years so students got to be in at least one. When it was my turn I didn’t get the lead role of Adam in “The Children of Eden” instead I got the role of the Snake or more commonly known as the devil himself. I had one scene, one song and one hell of a dance routine (pun intended). The final night I gave it everything I had and when I finished my song on one knee with Eve sitting on my other (after singing the highest and most powerful note of my life), the crowd burst into a roar. This was a big moment in my life.

The very next day I woke up very late after a long cast party, where I did behave myself (except for getting my hair shaved off), and had nothing amazing to do. Every day for a week I was working on my routine to perform it that night to the joy of the crowd, but that day I didn’t need to practice because I was not performing that night. The buzz of the performance had started to wear off and I was worried about just how ordinary life was becoming. I didn’t want an ordinary life, but an extraordinary one, however it was starting to look like that was not the case. Then I had a flash back.

2 years earlier I was in the same theatre – not on stage but in the audience. The play was called Pippen and my brother was in the band. It was a fantastic show that had everything. There was one song that always stuck in my mind called “Extraordinary”. It was not the lyrics of the song that stuck but the way it was sung. They prounced the word “Ex -tra -ord -inary” and that was only because it fit well with the timing of the song; but it caused a thought that I still have with me today.

Extraordinary is spelt “extra” “ordinary” but what I don’t get is that that would mean something would have more of the ordinary. I have been told it means adding extra to your ordinary but that is not how the language works. If you put extra in front of a word it means you get more of that word. Then I realised that that is exactly what it means.

We shouldn’t be chasing around for the next big thrill but looking at doing the same ordinary things and doing more of it. Marriage is the perfect example. After I married my beautiful Princess we started doing the most ordinary things together. Washing up, cleaning the house, reading, watching movies, and talking; but over the years of doing more and more of those things we have built an extraordinary marriage.

Don’t be chasing quick highs just to be let down soon after, but learn to enjoy more and more of the ordinary and look to what extraordinary heights it will take you to.

Have Fun.

Dan

What a monster intro. I was having trouble starting this episode but then got into the intro and now I am halfway there. I have been doing a lot of writing this week. I wrote a post about Performing Skills and decided to give it away to whoever wanted it and some of them posted it on their blogs. The people who posted the episode were Spencer, Eric, Eduardo, Sam and Jamie. You can click on their names to see the blog and if you click on Jamie’s don’t freak out like I did when I saw his blog, because it has the same theme as this one except his has a picture of Chuck Norris.

I had the day off today because I was owed a day for working too many days previously, but instead of sleeping in I spent the day doing my other job/hobby/community service/hanging with a good mate/thing I seem to spend a lot of time doing. That is spending time with my friend Dave and that segways nicely to this week’s episode:

“Head Bashers”

A lot of people on the internet know David Wakerley because I think he was the 7th person on it. He has been blogging at www.davidwakerley.com before WordPress was around and was twittering way before it was taken over by Ashton Kutcher. Dave is like chalk and I am like very attractive cheese. He gets very angry at me for writing episodes in the most used writing program in the world – “Word” – and I get very angry at him for not using a money-maximising device called a budget. We have some similarities though, like we are both massive and loyal Nintendo fans, but in the most part we are extremely different and that is why I spend one of my days off a week with him creating scripts, videos, productions and sometimes salads.

Dave is an intriguing character for many reasons but the reason I go back every week to him is that he has a thick head. I was going to add after “metaphorically speaking”, but I thought it was funnier if I left it out. Dave is not afraid to let me know if he doesn’t like my idea and is brave enough to defend it. I could have an idea that I have puts hours of effort into and he will say “it’s not doing it for me”. Then the games begin and with ego’s aside (sometimes), we will bash heads until something amazing is created. Every time without fail the idea is stronger or completely different and better; and it takes the constant working, moulding, shaping, and breaking that happens in a good head bash.

Who is someone in your life that you run ideas past and have to really sell it and defend it? Do you have just positive people who love anything you do and even if it is not your best they will still praise you? I hate being encouraged when I know I can do better. It is like you’re learning to juggle and you can juggle 3 balls for a minute and you show someone and you drop it in 5 seconds and they say “That was great”. What is the point?? If we celebrate mediocrity you will be easily pleased but rarely satisfied.

We all need someone who is brave enough to bash heads in all areas of our life. In my personal life my Princess will not let me get away with sloppy thinking or mediocre options and she will make me believe in my ideas, and takes time to help me challenge them. This has brought so much life to our relationship and our family that wouldn’t of happened if ideas were left unchallenged.

Yes sometimes you may need some Panadol or Tylenol but it is the only way to get ahead.

I can’t believe I finished on a pun.

Have Fun

Dan

Well what a week it has been. I just got back from a roadtrip with one of my best friends who is on his way to Korea; I completed the final 6 days of my detox diet (I will explain below;, I went rockclimbing; I bought and had installed air condition in my home; my Princess bought an oven; I went mini-golfing; and I even found time to go to work! Also something exciting happened for my friends in #kidmin (if that is not you or you don’t know what it is feel free to slip to the paragraph before the episode title). The next offical #kidminchallenge has started. Check out my friend Sam Luce’s blog for all the details.

Seeing I am on the topic of #kidmin I might as well tell you two other things before I get all the other readers back. First I am offering my services as a writer to any #kidmin blog that wants it. The Thursday Blog is a blog about life so I don’t have the platform to talk about things that are #kidmin specific, but if you do then I have a episode that you can have that will be done in the next week. It is all about developing your presentation and performance skills in your ministry. If you want it then you can DM me your email on twitter or just email me on dan@thethursdayblog.com. Secondly and more excitingly I have been asked by the legend himself PJ to be a part of Napkin Conference 2011. If you don’t know what the Napkin Conference is then look it up and register for this year. This year will be great and it is the only conference where you will be able to meet the creative genius from Hillsong Kids – Dave Wakerley, and the leadership and team-building guru from the same place – Nath McLean.

Welcome back everyone. Inspired by last weeks revelation I set out to change a few things in an episode called:

“Detox, Weight-loss and Wii Fit”

So I started a 10-day detox diet last Sunday. This is not one of those fad ones where they say eat nothing but this special water drink that we only sell for $48 a litre; but is a diet designed to rid your body of all the toxins it has been collecting for a very long time. So I didn’t starve, in fact I ate more food then I ever have, but it was only fruit, veggies, some nuts and seeds and that is it. No meat, no dairy, no bread, no eggs, no sugar and no fun. 10 days of being full on lettace but feeling hungry awaited me. But it would be all worth it if I achieved my Wii Fit goal.

Ahh yes the Wii Fit, my arch nemesis. Let me give you a bit more of a background on how my goal started. After it pointed out that I was overweight and I needed to do something about it, I set myself a goal of losing 3kg (6.6lb) in one month and set about training. Well it was a slow start, with doing no exercise and eating a whole block of chocolate, and the next day I found out that that had put on 1.4 kg so I now needed to lose 4.4kg (9.7lb). The Wii Fit rubbed it in my face and made me pick a reason why I put on weight. I then got to work and ate better and exercised hard. I tested myself the next day and I had lost 0.8 of a kg. Instead of my Wii Fit celebrating, it told me if I weighed myself at different times in the day my weight can fluctuate 1kg (2.2lb) therefore this weight-loss dodn’t really count (even though it was 15 mins after the same time the previous day).

Once again angry, I yelled at it “Get under my feet you evil thing”…and then realised that it already was.

Over the next 2 days my weight was up and down but I managed to lose another kg, however I still had another 2kg to go before my deadline and then I started my detox diet. This wasn’t planned, I had wanted to start it one day, and I got up on a Sunday and couldn’t find anything to take for lunch so I thought “ok, let’s start now”…I only found out later that the last day of the diet was my weight-loss due date.

A detox does funny things to your body. After completing one day I did my test and found out that I had put on 0.1kg. A little bit disappointed even though I knew it took a few days to see results, I went to contemplate life on the toilet. Well the detox was definitely getting rid of the bad things inside and I had what can only be described as a monster session in there. Afterwards, I had a crazy idea and I repeated my weight test. Well the detox was working because from before the toilet to after the toilet I had lost…………..0.5kg (1.1lb).

After 10 grueling days it came to the last day of my diet and my goal was up in the air. Did I achieve it or did I fail because the previous day I still hadn’t got there. I weighed in and over the month trying to lose 4.4kg I………………..lost 5.1kg (11.5lb).

As for the Wii Fit? It celebrated that I reached my goal and then said it was worried how quickly I lost the weight. Don’t worry guys, I am standing on it right now, stepping hard.

Have Fun and eat lettace!

Dan.

Hey I know what you are thinking and the answer is no – I was not a contestant. How dare you!

I am not saying that there is anything wrong with those amazing people who are contestants but they are the largest people in the country; and sure I have put on some pounds but nothing compared to that.

And I can lose these kilos when ever I want. Maybe I like them. Maybe I think they fill me out a bit more. Maybe I enjoy being more hug-able. Maybe….. maybe….. maybe……..

Maybe I am a bit sensitive about my weight. Oh well at least it is a good segway to this weeks episode:

“My Wii Fit Woes”

The story goes that I was a very skinny teenager. In fact they used to weigh us at school, and from year 7 to year 12 I weighed the same magical 52 kilos or 114 pounds. I never gained weight no matter what I did. My body ran a strict nightclub policy: 1 in my mouth, 1 out the backdoor. I was also one of those annoying people who ate whatever they wanted and nothing much happened; and if it did it was easily dealt with. Yes, it is true that every now and then I would get a bit of flab on my stomach but I would simply do a set of 25 sit-ups once and go for a walk, and the next day it was perfectly smooth.

I didn’t have it perfect though because I had no muscle – I was the skinniest kid you have seen. In fact when I used to work for World Vision most people thought I was up for child sponsorship. I was a bit of a runt but I put no effort into my physical health and I still looked good, so I had it pretty good!

Can you imagine how hard it would be for someone who their entire life had been skinny as I was, to have to come to grips with the fact that I am now 80 kilos (176 pounds). Well I have been taking it pretty well (and taking heaps of it, if ‘it’ is deslious fatty foods) because things happen and things change. It did get me down a bit and I tried real hard to shed the pounds but it wasn’t until I stood on my brand new Wii Fit that I realised there may be a problem.

I was so excited with the new cheerful Wii Fit. I chose my character and registered myself. It gave me a tour and then offered to do my daily test. It tested my point of gravity and weighed me and then proceeded to tell me that I was overweight!!! Overweight! Overweight. I am skinny little Dan and you are telling me that I am overweight? Just so I got the picture of what it was saying it took my normal-sized character and morphed it to triple the size of what I have it set at. Now I am not just overweight in theory but my avatar looks chubby.

My reaction was simple – I jumped off my Wii Fit and yelled at it “Oh yeah!!! Well you don’t have a heart!!! So there.”

It is very tough to have the truth look at you in the face and gently say “remember me?”.

I knew that my body wasn’t in the shape that I wanted it to be, but I tried to push away the fact that I needed to do something about it. I was in denial, I wouldn’t buy new clothes because I was determined that my skinny clothes would fit. I diagnosed that it was a tempory state of being and prescribed myself the usual 25 sit-ups and walk around the block. After walking many a block and many an attempted sit-up (for some reason they were a lot harder than before) I was not back to normal and I feared I never would.

I have tried a lot of things over the years that generally ended up costing me stupid amounts of money in unused gym memberships. The thing is I have never really been healthy when I was underweight or now overweight. However looking back at all my attempts I realised that there was always a desire to change but never a conviction. I believe that that is where I have gone wrong. I have tried losing weight to look good, to feel good, to save money on not buying clothes but these reasons are fickle. I am going to get healthy because I want to be alive, not only for 120 years but to have more life in me to be a better husband, father, friend and servant. I believe this goal will be worth any sacrifice – even chocolate.

Have Fun

Dan

I am being extremely organised this week and writing this early. I don’t normally find myself able to write in advance as the ideas generally come to me when they are ready – which ensures that the episodes are fresh but also keeps me slightly nervous. Many a time I thought it was all over for this world famous Blog only to have the new idea come right at the last moments. So now I just leave it till it happens, usually the night before it is due. This is not a strategy that can be used in any other area in life. I state that because I don’t want to be responsible for millions of students leaving their major essays to the night before to ‘keep it fresh”.

The only time I can write in advance is when there are important events coming up, so my mind lets me in on its next idea in advance. That is the case this week because as of Wednesday I am off to camp. We are running a camp for kids aged 10-12 years old from Wednesday to Friday. More than one turning point in my life happened to me when I was at a camp and I would like to share one of them in today’s episode called:

“Unleash the beast”

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaCamps are great. It gives the young males a chance to get back to nature and run wild, and it give young females a chance to get back to nature and run away from the wild…………… young males chasing them. Camps played a big part in my life as it was a place where I discovered more of myself (and I am not talking about my stomach with all that crazy camp food.) Shall I explain futher? Seeing I am only 343 words in I think I shall.

I was an extremely shy child. Now if any of you have met me, seen me perform, or had me cook a roast turkey for you, you would know that I am not shy. In fact I can get away with wearing absolutly what ever I want no matter how bad it clashes because I have the confidence to support it. This works out well because I have absolutely no fashion sense. This was not always the case and when I was younger I was constantly worried about what others thought. Then I went to camp and it got better. The End

What, only 435 words in? Ok, here is how it really happend.

I got asked to go to a wonderful place called Camp Clayton. I went to the 5 day camp and for once in my life I wasn’t surrounded with the same people that had done an awful job of being my peers. I had a chance to try and be myself and it was all tested when I met someone new. They introduced themselves and then asked for my name and for the first time in my life I referred to myself not as Daniel but as Dan. This sacrifice of 3 letters was incredibly significant to me, as I was no longer Daniel the boring, insecure, shy, scrawny pale white kid but Dan the interesting, confident, fun, scrawny pale white kid.

Unfortunately camp ended and I went back to school and my last 3 letters followed me. I was a Daniel and I was treated like a Daniel. For the next 2 years I would go back to camp in the holidays for a week as Dan and return to school as Daniel. At camp I started leading the younger age groups and everyone started to know who I was and wanted to hang out with me. At school everyone already knew who I was but they wanted to hang me. (A side note: nobody wanted to hang me but it worked really well with the contrast to hang out with me that I just put it in). I didn’t think I could get the two worlds to collide until I hit year 11.

I moved to a public school that only had senior years 11 and 12 students and it had a lot of them. I went to my first class that was drama. They got us to sit in a circle and go around the room and say who we were. We got to me, and I was slighty shaking with the decision faced before me. Would I be Dan and trust myself forward, or be Daniel and slip into the shadow. When the teacher said “and you are?” I smiled and said “I am the Sexy Beast”.

I wasn’t confident and it still took me years to develop it and I still am, but it was at that point I chose to give it a try anyway. Those times at that school were amazing and it were pivotal to where I am today. I was known as the Sexy Beast for years, not because people called me that, but because I called myself that. I even got my student ID to read: BEAST, Sexy.

The question is what do you want to be because you have a world of choices. Now maybe it’s time to “Unleash the Beast”.

Have Fun

Dan

Reality TV shows are something that I will never quite understand. Why do I enjoy watching how someone’s day, whom I have never met, was; when I am sitting to the most beautiful woman on the planet (My Princess) and I haven’t asked how her day was??!!

In fact there are a number of things in this fun and fantastic world that when I see them I think to myself:

“You have got to be kidding me”

Speaking of the reality TV show “Survivor”, it is quite obvious that it was a very successful show in its heyday many years ago, and now it is still just able to turn a profit so they can run it into the ground (until it is “Survivor – Retirement Village” so that by then Jeff can still host it). After seeing the success of the mighty USA series and the once-off hit of the Australian Survivor (not to be confused with the American Survivor that ran in Australia), a production company in Australia decided to make there own rip-off series. It was the same premise: 16 contestants, 40 days stuck on an island, going insane, and pushing the limits of the human body to the possible detriment of their health. It was actually a good show that I got into because it was as hard as Survivor so therefore fairly interesting, but it had one major flaw – the grand prize for the person who endured the torture for 40 days and was not voted off by there peers was…….. $50k.

You have got to be kidding me.

Survivor USA was $1,000,000, Australian Survivor was $500,000AUD and this was only $50k. The contestants almost died out there, just so that all they could possible strive for was an average years wage. The cost of going on the show would have been 6 weeks off work, possibly unpaid, for a one in 16 chance to win 52 weeks pay. There wouldn’t be a gambler in Vegas that would bet on those odds. The show lasted one series and then went down the drain.

Speaking of the drain I was in the toilet a week back and I saw a man who works in the fish shop washing his hand after using the facilities. I also looked why he wasn’t washing his other hand, and it was because on it he had his glove that he uses to pick up the fish to keep it hygienic.

You have got to be kidding me.

Here is a guy that on his first day at work he was told he need to always were a
glove to handle the fish. He must of thought ‘I will never remember to keep putting it on, I will just never take it off”. What I loved best is that in a busy shopping centre there would have been 50 people see him walking with his glove on and walking into the toilets. Those people and I will stop giving our money to that fish shop.

Speaking of money I went to buy some lunch a week back. Avoiding the fish shop I went into the chicken shop. I bought some chicken wings and noticed they had some new chicken rissoles (kind of like a chicken ball). I asked for one of them as well to which the lady said “you can get 3 of them for $2”. Interesting offer, I thought.

I don’t really want three but it is say over a dollar for one, and if I can get 2 more cheap I might do it. I asked “how much for one” to which she answered “60 cents.”

You have got to be kidding me.

She wanted to me to buy 3 and give her a 20 cent tip. I think a better tactic would say there are 3 for $2.40 to which most people would say “ha, I can buy 4 for $2.40” and purchase 4 just to show her. Therefore the chicken shop sells 4 when in all honesty nobody was buying any.

So if any of you could help explain these strange things you can win a prize. Simply take 6 weeks of works to try and win $104, a chicken rissole and a used fish glove.

Have Fun

Dan

Now New Years Eve is always an interesting time. I am not sure why people feel the need that out of 356 days in the year that on the 31/12 it is party time, but who am I to go against tradition. So tonight is the night where the world is partying, having a great time and being responsible (because I firmly believe that if you can’t have a great time without being responsible you are not stupid but you are boring!). There is a time on NYE that causes a large segment of people to feel awkward. In fact this happens only split seconds after the climax of the night when we all yell “Happy New Year”. Today’s episode is to help those people in that time. It is called:

“New Years Eve Christian Pick-Up Lines”

Now before my large reading base that are not Christian tune out, I should say why I have made this “pick-up lines for Christians”. Basically they need more help. The typical Christian male is hopeless at talking to women and the typical Christian female is so amazing and knows who she is, and is self-confident to the max, so it makes their job quite harder. So this is to help them out but you may be able to use them yourselves because some of them are just really nice.

Before the large Christian audience tune out because of the words “pick-up” lines, I must point out this: get over yourself. The point of a pick-up line is a conversation starter that enables you to obtain or pick-up something you didn’t know before. I know for some that means trying to sleep with someone but it can also mean obtaining a new friendship that hopefully would lead to dating, exclusive dating, courtship, engagement, marriage, then sleeping together. There is something magical about NYE and there is something magical about relationships and I love seeing people get together. So tonight could be your night and I am going to help you out.

Now traditionally a male would use these lines on a female so they are writen that way but that doesn’t mean these lines can’t be used by a woman just by changing a few words. I figured that females are smarter then men so they could change it rather then a man forgetting to and saying to a woman “you are the hottest guy in the room”.

I know there are a lot of these on the internet but here are some of my original ones. Any that aren’t original I stole over 5 years ago so I can trick myself that I am clever.

Here is the list:

The Dinner Line: “We have to go to a restaurant now! Because I have been praying and fasting for you all my life!

The Walking Past Line: Man: “Excuse me were you talking to me?”
Woman: “No”
Man: “Well could you start please”.

The To A Stranger Line: “Enter into courtship with me if I am wrong but do I know you?”

The Found Line: “There you are, I have finally found my rib!”

The Tithe Line: “Want to help me spend my 90% left?”

The Wristband Line: “Oh, I see you are wearing your “Wise Woman Just Date” band. Good call!”

And finally here is the one that I used on a very very very attractive female myself that led to all the things listed before because she became My famous Princess.

The Vision Line: “Hey let’s get married, have 12 kids and start a church….. I’m sorry, I am a man of vison, would you like to go on a date?”

So for the last time for 2009 I say to you my friends those welcomed wise words…

Have Fun

Dan