Grace’s Grace

November 21st, 2013

Hi everybody and welcome back.

Today’s episode is called:

Grace’s Grace

It was My Little Princess’ 4th birthday on Monday. For those who don’t know my family, my oldest daughter Grace is My Little Princess, my youngest daughter Mya is My Little Beauty, and my wife Jasmine who I started all of this with is My Princess. Now I know that you are all thinking shouldn’t Jasmine be My Queen but she believes she is not old enough to be called that and will review her decision when she feels fit. Until then I can’t take my proper place, so I am left singing that classic Disney song “I just can’t wait to be king”.

We had a family gathering on the Saturday which was fun. My Princess had bought a giant inflatable birthday cake – this things was huge and the candles stuck up so you could play a ring toss game (quoits) with the rings provided. I got to experience a milestone in being a father: doing a crazy impossible task just to make your kids happy. I had to blow that sucker up using only my mouth and it took me an hour!!! At one point our itunes playlist was on shuffle and the song came on “I’m so dizzy, my head is spinning”.

At the end of the gathering our family gave My Little Princess her gifts. I am starting to think her love language is gifts as she really appreciated it. Then all presents had been given except for her Uncle’s, who presented her with her very own goldfish. Everyone cheered and clapped as they welcomed our very first pet, but my analytical brain was wizzing. We now have a fish but absolutely no way or knowledge to care for it. Oh well I thought, at least we can teach Grace about death. I invited everyone back in a couple of weeks for a memorial service, but 9 hours later “Goldilocks” passed away.

Turns out fish die in water, because they need water but not that water, the other water the type of water the fish likes. And we unintentionally gave it the water that it didn’t like…and she protested and died. This put us in a very interesting position as parents. I had heard stories of people’s goldfish’s living for 10 years only to find out later it was 1 goldfish and 15 doppelgangers over the years. Do we tell Grace or just replace?

When we thought about it the choice was clear, move to Mexico. Then we had a cup of tea and the choice really was clear. We needed to let Grace go through her first experience of loss and guide her through. The next morning we sat her down and told her that everything on this earth lives for awhile then dies. We humans live for a long time (120 years for my family), but goldfish don’t normally live long (especially when their owners don’t know what in the world pH levels are?) and so Goldilocks had died. Then I witnessed something truly beautiful. She began to cry.

No I am not a sicko that enjoys others’ pain, but I got to be apart of this just-turned-4 year old’s life when she was first processing grief. We hugged her and let her know that we loved her very much and that something amazing happens when we go through hard times like this. God gives us a special gift to help us through. I asked her if she knew what it was.

‘No’ said Grace.

“It is His Grace” I said with a smile.

She paused for a moment then smiled herself and said “That’s me”.

2 Corinthians 9:8 And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.

To share with my daughter the lesson that God loves her so much that He will be right with her during her time of hurt is something that I will never forget. She was given the opportunity to experience God’s comfort and I know she did.

We went to the pet store the next day and got ourselves a complete set up – proper tank, stuff to make the water into the water the fish like, a live plant, and two new fish, one for each of the girls. We were finally set up for a win………….. I hoped. However yesterday after 3 days our youngest daughter’s fish died. How are the girls taking it? Really great. My Little Beauty is too young to understand but My Little Princess Grace offered her some encouraging words:

“Mya, your fish died, and my fish is alive……. but one day it will die”.

Have Fun.


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