The Fighter

February 24th, 2011

Hello and welcome to The Thursday Blog, or as it is commonly known in Amsterdam as “Mogen we een ontbijit” which means ‘a relaxing read’.

I am told many people go to coffee shops in Amsterdam to read the latest episode of The Thursday Blog and gosh it relaxes them. I walked into one last time I was there and saw the most relaxed people, it was amazing. I didn’t stay for coffee however, as I needed to get out of there because I could hardly breathe. I think they need to sort out their air conditioning.

Well what a fantastic week it has been. What has happened? Well life really. Nothing out of the ordinary to report but plenty of the extra-ordinary. Life was great until something happened that brought me face to face with……..

Cue today’s episode title:


You may have two questions, probably three. First: What is the fighter?; Second: What happened to bring out the Fighter?; and an optional Third: How in the world do you get your hair to look so awesome? These are all good questions but I am only going to answer the first one, as the question of what happened is irrelevant, it doesn’t really matter what someone did or didn’t do but my reaction is what is important. I could answer the third question but that would take up the next 5 weeks of episodes (hair this perfect is an art).

So what is The Fighter?

The fighter is a person that looks a lot like you yet you will only see them from time to time. They live in a cave of emotions, happy being carried around by you whilst they hibernate inside of you. But every now and then, something happens and the boxing bell dings and the fighter comes out swinging.

“How dare they treat me like that!!!”


”Who do they think they are???”

”I guess they don’t really care!!! ”

”That makes me so angry!!!! ”

Now you all know what I am talking about as you have all met this character. We have all been influenced by the fighter and we have all gone down that path. We shoot our mouths off, say things we regret, hurt people back who have hurt us. The reaction we had was so strong we instantly obeyed it.

So is that what happened to me this week?? Someone did something that hurt me, I reacted instantly and now I regret it?? Well, the answer is no. I have grown up from my immature ways of instantly reacting (or at least am in the process of growing) and on this occasion I did not bite back. In fact the person doesn’t even know that they hurt me. I acted in maturity by not acting, and that should be the end of the story and the end of this episode as we all lived happily ever after.

Have Fun.



Oh, you are still there.

Me too.

Suppose that is not the end of the story.

Most of my audience would be in the same boat. When the fighter comes, you have learnt over time that more often than not, you should take time out and wait for The Fighter to leave before you do something stupid. This is a good plan but it is not the end of the story. Why? Because I want to know why The Fighter came out in the first place???

To have an instant reaction powerful enough to bring out The Fighter means there is something deeper that needs to be addressed. At the rodeo, when they open a bull gate and an angry bull runs out, kicking in every direction to buck off the cowboy; people don’t go “gosh that bull can get angry quick”. It was already angry when it was behind the gate, it is just that when the gate is open you can finally see it.

So today when the incident happened I was not worried about what I would do when The Fighter burst out, but more what is really bothering me, and may have been bothering me for years that caused The Fighter to appear. For that you need a friend called:

“The Commentator”

The Commentator has the best seat in the house. They can see you, they can see The Fighter and they can provide a totally unbiased comment on what they see. This is crucial to find out what is really wrong. The Commentator could be your partner or a close friend or even could be yourself. If you can learn the skill of taking a step back and assessing the situation from afar while you’re still in it, it will help you in so many areas of life. But that is another episode.

For me I sent a few text messages to a friend asking for their comments. The act of turning my feelings into a text enabled me to be The Commentator as I explained both sides to my friend. Before they could even reply I discovered the answer to why The Fighter came out. I don’t have all the answers to fix it for the future, but I have taken a positive step towards letting The Fighter only fight the battles that are worthwhile.

Have Fun.


This entry was posted on Thursday, February 24th, 2011 at 9:04 pm and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “The Fighter”

  1. robyn blaikie collins Says:

    fascinating… what about the pacifist… theone that just wants to avoid conflict at all cost, so ignores the issue… that one hangs out with me sometimes…

    but the commentator. love it. it would be nice to hear the play by play before it happens so we can change the route, if need be, or press on if its the right route.

    all that aside… i am going to start watching out for the fighter and see why she rears her head (as she did today when i was asked to facilitate a local talent competition and i felt the need to dress down some 5th graders for their choice of music, instead of gently suggesting an alternative… sheesh)

    hope tomorrow is wonderful for you.

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