One liners – not just for laughs

June 24th, 2010

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Thursday Blog, featuring big laughs, hilarious jokes and an incredible talented performer who spent a good deal of time doing local comedy club gigs – complaining about how hard life was because he was a struggling comic and building up such a following led to international success; only to find out that there was no more new material left so he had to settle with starring in a few mediocre movies from time to time. This goes to show that positive comedy requires a lot more effort but it does last longer.

I am really starting to enjoy my new intros and the segue that come from it. Have you noticed that the featuring bit kind of links into what the episode is about, hence the segue. Sorry if this has ruined the magic behind it but when it comes down to it, all blogs are about smoke and mirrors.

Today’s episode is extremely fun, so let’s get into it. It is called:

“One liners – not just for laughs”

August is a fun time of year. It is about the time my tax refund starts to come back, which is like finding money behind your sofa. You know the money is yours but you still get pleasantly surprised when it comes back to you. But more so then getting refunded the extra money your workplace has sent to the government during the year, it is also the time when the Kidshaper conference is on.

Last year was my first year and I was asked with two good friends of mine to do the announcements. This could of been an easy task if it wasn’t the three of us. Anyone of us by ourselves would of done a decent and slightly entertaining job. Seeing it was all of us though we were constantly daring each other to do more and more outrageous segments each time, so much so that before each session I would be almost sick with nerves due to what we were planning to do.

It started off simple with a straightforward reading-out of the announcements on stage with a few jokes. It built from there to include making up a song live on stage, doing a puppet show,  and the finale was using a flannel graph board to accurately communicate those announcements. That was a challenge.

One of those mornings we decided to do a news program filled with as many one-liners as possible. Here were a few of them:

“And here is the news -

A man from Sydney has had a freak accident at work and a buzz saw has cut hit entire left side off. He was in a critical position but the doctors say he is all right now.

In religious news the Australian national Atheist group have declared themselves a non-prophet organisation.

At the end of this session we will be giving out dead batteries, free of charge.

A magician appeared in Melbourne’s magistrate court today. He apologised and disappeared immediately.

5000 hares have escaped from the zoo. The police are combing the area.

As all good conferences have electives, here is a list of the ones available.

How to work in a muffler factory without burning out or getting exhausted.
How to become a comedian without people laughing at you.
How to work in a bank without losing interest.
How to become a doctor even if you don’t have any patience.
How to work as a fisherman and live off your net income.
How to be a tap dancer and not fall down the sink.
How to teach your children maths, without the problems.”

Now all of these one-liners are funny (except maybe the tap dancer one) and they all serve the purpose of getting a laugh. The concept of a one-liner doesn’t have to stay with comedy or in a bar trying to find a relationship.

I have tried to develop a list of one-liners to engage people. Whether it is to spark conversation with a “I hear that is lovely to visit (insert country or city) in the spring time”; or to show someone you are interested, with a ‘‘I have heard a lot about (insert line of work) but I have always wanted to learn more about that (insert same line of work)” . It could be as simple as learning one little fact on a range of topics. Every time I meet someone from Germany I simply say “What part of Deutschland are you from?”. It is amazing how much someone will warm up to you seeing you have bothered to work out what the real name of their country is.

Just like a joke, these are pre-thought, cleverly constructed lines that not only get a laugh but also help you connect with people.

Have Fun.


This entry was posted on Thursday, June 24th, 2010 at 11:10 pm and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “One liners – not just for laughs”

  1. Sam Says:

    My favorite one liner to engage Aussies is to say at the top of my lungs upon hearing that the person I have just met is from Australia, I say “THAT DINGO’S GOT MY BABY”. Powerful stuff FMD, powerful stuff.

    Great POST you really DROVE the point home.


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