Superman in the Supermarket

April 16th, 2010

Hello everyone and welcome to The Thursday Blog, packed full of passion, desire and an mp3 player that is not an ipod yet still uses itunes.

Let’s get into today’s episode called:

“Superman in the Supermarket”

If I were Superman, then the supermarket would be my Kryptonite.

Just last week before our holiday my beautiful Princess was sick so I was looking after her and my Little Princess. One way I knew that would help my Princess feel better was for me to do the the grocery shopping. I set out with the list.

We have decided that my Princess is the manager of our food stores; not because I am a chauvinistic male, but because if I was in charge it would be 70% candy, 29% frozen meals, and a stork of celery. So as the food manager she knows what belongs in our house and what doesn’t. She just walks the aisles and knows what we need, what we don’t and casually looks at the list from time to time.

I on the other hand have no idea what belongs in our house so I stick to the list. Now the trouble with going off a list is I have no idea where the items are on the shelves or what section something would live in. So my first round was to walk from section to section, aisle to aisle, just looking for things that looked familiar that were on the list. First round I ticked off 18 things on my list of 40. Then my only option was to go hunting. I look at the list and I go hunting. This means I travel to one aisle one to pick up tissues, then to aisle 15 to get honey. This gets me to about 34 out of 40 things. Final step I go and find a person and beg for them to take me to the final remaining items.

This whole process took me one and a half hours, when it usually takes my Princess 45 minutes. Seeing I was there for a long time I had a lot of opportunity to do silly things, and that opportunity didn’t go to waste.

Silly thing number 1: I wrote on the list. My Princess is perfect and so is her handwriting and the list though hard to follow (as stated above), was easy to read. As I was walking out of the door we realised that we needed a few more things – some OJ, some cereal, and some cold and flu medicine. I quickly wrote these items down and left for the supermarket.

On my arrival back, bruised and battered, my Princess questioned one of the items I bought:

“Why did you buy this?” she asked, holding up some apple and raspberry cordial (cold-aid).

“It’s the cordial. I know we never buy cordial but it was on the list”. I said defensively.

My Princess after looking at the list, starts laughing.

“That says Codral” she says. (Codral is one of the leading brands of Cold and Flu medicine).

“Ohhh, that’s not my fault, it looks like it says cordial”.

My Princess couldn’t control her laughter.

“But…….. honey………… YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WROTE IT!!!”

Silly thing number 2: We needed water for our road trip. On the list it stated 10 x small water bottles. I looked around and only saw a 24 pack which was too many and probably more than we needed to spend on water. The rest of the funky brands in singles were $3/bottle so that wasn’t the right choice either. Then whilst walking around I spotted a trolley with random cans of coke, pepsi etc in it, with a sign saying “Loose Drinks 59 cents”. I looked over and lo and behold, there were just a few bottles of water. This was fantastic because I could choose how many I wanted and I was saving heaps of money. I fished out what looked like the last 6 bottles and went to move on, smiling. But then I saw something.

Below all the cans I saw a familiar glisten and discovered that there were a few waters left. I started to get out a few and noticed there were a lot more. Like a man obsessed with good value, I put more and more into my shopping cart. I didn’t know how many I got until I got to the register. I had picked out 21 bottles that came to the price of $12.40. At that point I got a sick feeling in my stomach. After paying and putting them into the car, I ducked back into the store to the bottled water section and my fear was confirmed. The 24 pack I had previously decided was too many and too expensive, was $9.50. I had paid $3 extra to get 3 bottles less!!!

I had failed at the supermarket, but I succeeded as a husband. Maybe that makes me Superman…however not quite as my Princess got over her cold two days later for the start of our holiday; but I then got it for the next nine days, the entire duration of the holiday.

Have Fun (because I still did),

Dan

This entry was posted on Friday, April 16th, 2010 at 1:20 am and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

3 Responses to “Superman in the Supermarket”

  1. Pastor Jared Says:

    This is hilarious! And I totally know where you are coming from, except I worked at the supermarket until about a year ago, so I usually know where things are and it still takes me an hour and a half to get out of there!

  2. Funny Man Dan « Cullen-ary Delights Says:

    [...] Man Dan By cullencha I have been reading this blog for a while now. Always quite [...]

  3. Lee Says:

    So I’m not the only husband out of his depth at the supermarket.I feel better already. Great article!!

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