The new cliché

September 30th, 2009

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages welcome to another attractive episode of The Thursday Blog, the only blog in history to be awarded the Nobel prize in the category of being awesome. In fact it is the only blog to be awarded such an honour but also the only winner ever in this category. This could be because of the fact that the category is made up, or it could be because out of honour of the blog they decided to not award anything in this category again. The latter seems more likely.

I want to introduce a new series today but I am not going to because I never really know what I am going to write about until sometime during the week between Thursdays. I have tried to write ahead many of times with no luck so I have concluded that I need to enjoy the ride even though sometimes I don’t have control. So I would love to do a new series but I can’t guarantee that I will ever write on it again. However If I was going to write one, I would call it:

“The new cliché”

Every time someone tells me to think outside the box I quickly retort by telling them to think outside the box and come up with a new cliché. Even though it is annoying the saying still holds a lot of value. There is a chance that there are certain things you want to happen yet your efforts make you feel like you are hitting a brick wall. So what do you do? Well you get creative, and I find the best way to spark someone’s creativity is to give them some examples.

So I am going to do that for a special area that affects a lot of my readers. I have a very big Christian following. How do I know? Because they twitter me @funnymandan, comment me or email me and tell me how much they get out of my episodes, and I know they are Christian because at the end of their emails is a fish sticker. Now I also have a very big non-Christian following who also tell me that they get stuff out of my episodes.  Now the fun part of the Christian belief is that God loves everybody and will accept you no matter who you are. This means more so than any other religion, the Christian one is an active one, and if you know a Christian, they have probably asked you to church and that may or may not have been successful.

So this is for all those Christians who have friends that keep saying “No”. This is also for those non-Christians who are bored with being asked. It is time for a new cliché.

You say you have tried everything, but have you tried:

1. Making a bet with them.

Challenge them in something, even something they are good at. Make a bet, if they win you give them $5, if you win they come to church. Make the bet and believe that this God you believe will to empower you to win. Don’t be disappointed if you don’t win first go, keep on trying. Try a different tactic when you need to call the bank for a loan.

2. Organising a road trip.

A road trip is defined as a trip taken on the road and there is no better road then the road to church.

3. Getting them to sign something.

If they have a habit of breaking their promise about coming to church get them to sign something saying they will come by a certain date. If they don’t make it, organise a lawyer to call them regarding a breaking contract lawsuit.

4. Taking the little kid approach

If you ask about 15 times a day, to their face, by phone call, email and txt msg, after about 2 weeks they will either come to church or strangle you. Either way someone will meet Jesus.

5. Bringing church to them

Imagine a family member waking up one morning, walking into their living room and finding chairs set up in pews, people sitting down, an usher telling them where to sit and a church service starting. After that they might start going to church to avoid it coming to them.

The sky is the limit. If you want something hard enough and simply asking does not work, then get a new cliché. Not only will you have a whole lot of fun doing it but the people you are asking will at least appreciate a bit of variety.

Have Fun


This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 30th, 2009 at 11:04 pm and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “The new cliché”

  1. Sarah Thompson Says:

    Thank you FMD.
    You are truly insightful. This is revolutionary world changing thinking stuff.

  2. Natalie Miller Says:

    Oh my goodness Dan. I have tears. That was fantastic.

    “…either way someone will meet Jesus…”

    What a classic.

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