Tupperware!

July 2nd, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages welcome to the late night edition of The Thursday Blog. Yes I am trying something different and it is currently late at night and I am in the mood to write. I have a massive few weeks coming up with work and also a conference I am performing at so I am going to give you two weeks worth of episodes tonight!!!!

Well I am going to set them to post for the next two Thursday’s so you aren’t really going to get them tonight. Sorry if I got your hopes up. I know you would all love me to produce episode after episode but as Mary Poppins would say “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, yet a truckload will give you some serious problems”…Copyright – Disney and Dan for the part he made up at the end.

These late night editions are going to be great. I am going to take you back in time. This week to when I was 17 and next week when I was 18!

This week’s episode is so fun. I was going through some old files and I found a piece of writing that is just funny. I was going to rewrite the concept but instead I thought it would be good to see it in its original form (so don’t expect a life lesson, just a laugh). This was an insider’s look at a very strange job I had with my friend Tony. It is called:

“Tupperware!”

As I sat down on the floor at my mother’s Tupperware party, I thought to myself “This has to be one of the saddest things I have ever been to.”

When Bruce and Steven told us all about the exciting new technology Tupperware had put into their “rock and serve crescendo bowls” I decided that this was definitely the saddest thing I had ever been to. After the demonstration had finished and a few thousand dollars of plastic had been sold, I was approached by Bruce and Steven.

“What do you think Bruce, we might have a new recruit with this fella.”

Without being officially introduced to Bruce and Steven, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t like them. Next came the thing that I had been afraid of. They asked me if I would be interested in joining the trend, and become a Tupperware demonstrator just like them. I looked at Bruce, then at Steven, and my mind was made up.

“No thank you.”

But like any good seller they persisted to the point of annoyance.

“Are you sure?  It’s a great way to meet people.”

“No thank you.”

“You could make some friends.”

“Ahhhh, No.”

“You could develop your people skills.”

“No.”

“Learn how to speak in public.”

“NO!”

“You can make some money.”

After signing up, I discovered the trap. The first $500 of my commission went to pay off the Tupperware I had to get to demonstrate with. I didn’t want to do it, but I needed the money. After I had signed away the next three weeks of both my life and my dignity, I was ready to tackle the dangerous, scary adventure: selling plastic to middle aged women.

Tupperware is for all ages but it is directly targeted at middle-aged women because they are the most vulnerable. Tupperware viciously attacks right at the heart of their troubles: the kitchen. Tupperware claims that it can make the hideous job of cooking meals and managing a kitchen easy and somewhat enjoyable. However, this does not happen overnight. A bit of time and a substantial investment into Tupperware must be made. But if you don’t have the time, and most people don’t, a Tupperware consultant can come around and do it for you for a small cost. For around $300 plus you have to purchase all of the products of plastic that they use. So thanks to Tupperware it is now possible to have the contents of your cupboards worth more than your kitchen, and the lounge room, and also the rumpus, as well as the garage, and the car – in fact, more than all the rest of your assets.

The day before my first party I was showered with gifts. I received everything from the “grate-n-hold” grater to the ever-famous “modular mates”, plus catalogues, order forms and a really cool name badge. I was blown away with the generosity of the company until later I found out I had to pay for everything. Even the name badge.

The art of selling Tupperware is to convince your audience that they desperately need it. They have to believe that their life won’t function properly unless they have the new fridge smart lettuce crisper. The pro can make them believe that the crisper is good but if you want to succeed in life you need the ultimate mega set that only costs a few hundred dollars more. A small price to pay for happiness.

The way Tupperware works is very simple. For everything the demonstrator sells, he or she collects generic levitra cheap 20% commission. On top of that he or she collects a further 12.2% commission. That 12.2% commission is put towards a gift for the host depending on how much Tupperware has been sold. If the hosts’ gift cost more than the 12.2% because of the amount sold at their party they will receive a gift voucher. The amount of the gift voucher will be determined by the number of items of items sold divided by the number of items returned plus the amount of people at the party times the average number of blue m and m’s found in a 250gram packet of skittles.

The remaining 67.8% profit goes to the company. The same company that charged me $5 for a name badge. The same company that conned me into buying $500 of their goods. The same company for which I have to sell over $2500 of plastic to people I have never met in their own homes just to pay off a debt. The same company that charges $31.45 for an ice-cream scoop. This company is sending people into homes all over Australia to make their company rich.

This proves one thing: you don’t have to give away you dignity when you can get someone to sell theirs.

Have Fun

Dan.

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 2nd, 2009 at 11:12 am and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Tupperware!”

  1. Mirjam (NL) Says:

    I think TW-salespeople are generally from another planet, like, maybe there is life on Mars, cuz they can’t be human! :p

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