Things I don’t understand

April 30th, 2009

Hello everyone and welcome to a very special episode of The Thursday Blog. It is episode number 10!!!!!! Now I know this doesn’t sound too glamorous because everyone expects this Blog to go on forever as it is so darn awesome…but this episode is a milestone for a very special reason. The Thursday Blog is adding a segment. Yes there is now a reason to come here multiple times a week (besides to re-read the darn awesomeness) because I am officially launching “The Godfather’s Txt”.

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It will start with some info explaining it all in the next few days, then randomly during each week a Txt message-size post or two will appear for your reading pleasure.

 

So to kick start our new segment, The Thursday Blog proudly presents today’s episode that is a collection of small thoughts. It is called:

 

“Things I don’t understand”

 

We live in a funny world and the way we communicate and live our lives is stranger than that random gunk I found once under the sink. There are a whole lot of things I don’t understand. Maybe you could help me out…

 

I don’t understand when you ask someone if they would like a drink and they answer “I’m good”. Well that is lovely to know that but it doesn’t actually answer the question, it is just a statement about their emotional state. Instead of saying “I’m good” I don’t understand why we don’t say: 

“I am great and I don’t want a drink”

“I am fantastic and I am not thirsty”

“I am incredible good looking and a cup of tea would be lovely”.

 

I don’t understand why people seem to constantly lie to me when they tell me they will be with me in a minute.

 

I don’t understand when you use incorrect grammar like  “Me and Jesse are going to the beach” people correct you and say “No, Jesse and I are going to the beach”…I don’t understand because Jesse said he was going with me!!!

 

I don’t understand why there are no self-help books on not being able to read.

 

I don’t understand if you go around on Friday and ask people how their weekend was, they freak out. They had one 5 days ago!

 

Once I asked a friend how her brother was going at school. She said “He is failing miserably”. I don’t understand, does that mean he is doing a miserable job of failing?? Does that mean he is passing??

 

I don’t understand why I would like fries with that!

 

I don’t understand when a football supporter’s team wins a game; he or she says “We played a great game”. I don’t understand, they never left their seat, they weren’t even on the bench.

 

I don’t understand why if you keep some tissues or a hankie with you during the day your nose won’t run. But if you forget them, the windows of Heaven open up in your nostrils and there is a down pouring.

 

I don’t understand why every morning I honestly believe that 2 extra minutes sleep is going to help.

 

I don’t understand why I calculate the quickest possible time I could get to a place so that I leave my house at the latest time. How positive can one guy be? Do I honestly believe that I will catch every light and find a park right out front of where I am going?

 

I don’t understand why I am always late.

 

I don’t understand how my grandfather walked 50 miles bare-foot in the snow to school everyday. He lived in Las Vegas.

 

I don’t understand why girls go to the toilet in groups. There are no video games in there. I’ve checked!

 

I don’t understand how a person can rudely cut in front of me in traffic but seeing that they waved it all seems ok.

 

I don’t understand the phrase “Think outside the box”. Next time someone says that to me I am going to tell them to think outside the box and come up with a new cliché.

 

I don’t understand why I used to watch “The Nanny”.

 

I don’t understand silent letters. Spelling is hard enough without putting p’s in front of words.

 

I don’t understand that no matter what sport I am playing, at half time I have a craving for oranges.

 

I don’t understand why when you ring a wrong number they always pick up.

 

I don’t understand that I know people from all around the world but I don’t even know my own next-door neighbours.

 

I don’t understand why I still don’t trust God even though he has never let me down.

 

I don’t understand why someone would read this blog without leaving a comment and telling everyone they know.

 

I don’t understand that with all these weird and wonderful things in life how people can complain that life is boring.

 

Have Fun

 

Dan

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 30th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

15 Responses to “Things I don’t understand”

  1. Naomi Says:

    “I don’t understand why every morning I honestly believe that 2 extra minutes sleep is going to help.”

    this is so true….it never really works, and yet I try over and over again…

    Just started reading your blog. Its so funny… bringing a smile to my day. My 7yr old and I love the new ” Hillsong Kids Follow You” album and dvd!The “Love Never Fails” music video is so funny…. my 7 yr old almost has the whole dvd memorized, with the actions for the songs. Its all she wants to watch at home or listen to in the car.

    Have a blessed Thursday!

  2. adelle Says:

    Thanks for the laugh this morning Dan!! Needed a laugh!! Keep them coming!!

  3. Alison Says:

    I don’t know you, but your blog is funny. :) Thanks for the laugh. You made my husband laugh too.

    As for the last bit… “Only boring people get bored.”

    Alison

  4. wilson Says:

    ” I dont understand…” ye, me too sometimes, but, you know, some of them are reasonable, coz people lazy, crazy and puzy, hhaa, thanks man that is a good one!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. Flamingo Says:

    hahahaha The unknowns of life. I like it mate but you left one out:

    I dont understand why the e-saver application always timesout lol.

    talk soon,

    dt

  6. James Says:

    I am incredibly good looking and a pcup of tea would pbe plovely

  7. Natalie Lim Says:

    I LOVE YOUR BLOGS FUNNY MAN DAN. Seriously.

    In what circumstances did you check the girls toilet? Did you just purposely walked in to check or just entered the wrong door?

  8. Dan lee-Archer Says:

    That is another episode!!

  9. Shummy Says:

    Ha! that was a particularly funny epsisode of the blog

  10. Sally Squad Says:

    One thing I never understood is why a boxing ring is called a ring when its actually square?

    Great post…gave me a good giggle!

  11. Dan lee-Archer Says:

    Ha ha

    I think after being hit in the head so many times you would call it a ring as well.

    Thanks for the comment Nat. I love yours and Sally’s show.

    FMD

  12. Sam Says:

    I don’t understand how anyone could read this blog without laughing once ( I told a few ppl, they rank “boring” in my books, seeing they didn’t find any of this humorous.). Seriously dude, I laughed at most all of what you had to say. And of course i had to leave a comment.
    Keep up the good work!

  13. Walter Krumpkrump Says:

    I Don’t understand why the phone only rings when I’m on lunch.

    Actually it’s probably because everyone else is on lunch and making thier calls.

    Problem Solved!

  14. Walter Krumpkrump Says:

    Oh and another thing, why do women suddenly throw themselves upon you when you get a ring on your finger? Why couldn’t that happen when I was a geeky looking beatle-haired year 10 student?

    Maybe they are just attracted to the gold!

  15. Gore to Be Says:

    I don’t understand how 55 days before getting married can feel like an eternity away and at the same time be freakishly close and extremely soon!

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