Do you listen to the Old Wife?

April 2nd, 2009

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages STOP!
Give yourself a round of applause.
If you are sitting down, give yourself a standing ovation.
If you are standing, sit down then proceed to do what is outlined in the last sentence.

We need to take this time to celebrate the wonderful choice you have made to read this week’s episode of The Thursday Blog. You now have a distinct advantage over your competitors and somehow feel like you can overcome any hurdle that comes your way. (On a side note if you are a professional hurdler disregard that last half of the last sentence as that would not be an issue for you). This is why they call The Thursday Blog your mid week guide to life.

Today we have a fun episode that will hopefully make you think. Seeing that most things make you think in some form or another I may need to increase my expectation. Ok we are going to go with increased awareness of your thoughts with a side order of challenging what they are. Also today we are going to get an answer to an age old question:

Do you listen to the Old Wife?

There is a thing in life called Old Wives Tales. These are facts or forms of advice passed down by generations through the vehicle of old wives. These usually are things to protect us, to help us, to give us an understanding or are just useless. But how many of these are true?

To find out I read “Old Wives Tales, Fact or Fiction?” by Thomas J Craughwell.

Right from the first page I was very surprised by this book. In the book it brought up the statement “You need to wait an hour after eating before swimming”. Now this obviously is fact, the hour part varies but you can’t digest whilst swimming. I kept on reading and found out I was wrong. It is a lie.

So that means you can generic for zestril eat 3 Big Mac’s then jump into the pool whilst still eating your chips, and there is no medical reason you will be sick (apart from the fact you just ate McDonald’s and your body is in shock thinking how in the world is it going to digest this).

I was in shock. How can this be? Think of all those times spent sitting on the side of the pool watching the clock as it slowly ticks down till the hour mark because I ate a sandwich. Oh the pain.

I sat there with my eyes wide open and I read on.

“Lightning never hits the same place twice!”
I think: True of course, many a time in a lightning storm I have run to the place it just struck for complete safety.
False

“Carrots will sharpen your eyes and improve night vision”
True because that is the only reason I ate them, in case my car lights failed and I needed my keen sense of vision.
False

“Toads will give you warts”.
That is why I threw away my toad collection in high school
False

“If you crack your knuckles it can cause arthritis”
My teacher said this before every class
False (This is getting silly)

“If you walk outside with wet feet or hair you will catch a cold”
I always wore a showercap
False

“It is safe to eat something dropped on the floor if picked up in 5 seconds”
That was my last meal
False

Now this is just crazy. How can I could be wrong on so many topics? Is it because I have let so many thoughts left unchallenged and some of them have just stuck??

My mother at the age of 40 took me to the zoo and when we saw the elephants picking up food by their trunk and putting it in their mouths she commented “Oh, I thought they sucked in through their trunks”.

Now of course elephants don’t eat trough their trunks, it would be the same as me sniffing a chicken for lunch but it was an idea my mother got when she was 5 and it was unchallenged for 35 years.

How many thoughts and beliefs have we left untouched that have settled in our lives? Now it doesn’t matter if you think carrots help your sight or elephants sniff their food but there may be some more important ideas you have picked up over the years that you still have. It is important every now and then to do a stock take of what we really believe and who we are listening too.

The truth brings freedom, like this last old wives tale that “eating chocolate causes acne/pimples”. I am very happy to say that is completely false!

So don’t listen to the old wife… unless that old wife is your wife, then it would be in your best interest to do what she says.

Have Fun

Dan.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 2nd, 2009 at 8:17 am and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

9 Responses to “Do you listen to the Old Wife?”

  1. Dan lee-Archer Says:

    Well The Thursday Blog has had a lot of love over this last week with some great comments and mentions on some very prestigious blogs out there. Check out Dave Wakerley and Sam Luce from my blogroll for a great read plus mention of that blog that you have just had the honour of just reading.

    Have Fun

    Dan.

  2. Giusepe Says:

    Hahaha… Really good post Dan! Loved the chicken sniffingg idea… LOL , you made a very good point! Love it!

  3. Demz Says:

    good one Dan, now you’ve made me question everything in my life… and also very very dissapointed at the many hours ive waited by the pool :(

    Not sure if this is an egyptian thing, but I was told that when a woman craves something when shes pregnant and doesnt have what shes craving, the baby comes out with a birth mark of that food.. i always thought this was true until my sister in law was born with a turtle shaped birth mark..

  4. Jesse Calarco Says:

    the question is why do we think the way we think about certain things… we should apply that question a lot more often than we do…

  5. Michele Says:

    Haha, brilliant Dan!! Love this blog…and I’m sharing it with friends ;)

  6. Graham Says:

    You made me smile, and than laugh. Good one. I even told my colleague about the blog. I think it wise to say that sometimes we should not accept things that others are preaching, we need to check it out for ourselves to better understand. Test the spirits come to mind. Great blog and looking forward to another Thursday of Funny Man Dan’s antics.

  7. tam Says:

    anytime one of us kids would burn ourselves, my grandma would put butter on the burn. imagine hearing and seeing an 8 year olds flesh sizzling.

    hmmmm…

  8. Kim Ho Says:

    Good stuff mate good stuff…

    Except you said you were going to have lunch with me today but you disappeared somewhere else and didn’t appear again…

    I couldn’t couldn’t agree more with the last sentence… no not “Have Fun”, the one before that…

  9. Kim Ho Says:

    Alright you appeared again… I take the other comment back.

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