My Son

March 5th, 2009

Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls of all ages welcome once again to The Thursday Blog. I know waiting a whole week for the next fantastic instalment of The Thursday Blog can be tough but there are many “I can’t wait for the next fantastic instalment of The Thursday Blog” support groups you can find in your local town to help. For other fantastic blogs check out my blogroll, located on the left hand side, half way down the page next to the emergency exit.

 

Today’s episode is slightly emotional, but it is important that I write it. The topic is called:

 

My Son

 

So the date is 26th of July (4 days after my birthday – remember that, it may help you on who wants to be a millionaire one day) and we are coming up to my wife’s and mine 1 year wedding anniversary. So I do what any old school romantic does, I take her to Europe for a month! This was a big trip for us. Not only is this my princess’ dream trip (it way my dream to have a savings account… I am still believing for both), but this trip was the time where we would start trying to start our family. Well nothing spells pregnant more than a one year anniversary in Paris and on the last night of our trip, 2 little lines confirmed that our dream was coming true.

 

Due to a tradition that I have never worked out, we only told family that we were expecting until the 12 week mark. We were very excited and enjoyed our time of being pregnant even though it meant me getting up in the night to get Jas milk or any request she wanted. Jas’ body unfortunately wasn’t coping well with the changes and our doctor at the 8 week mark asked us to get an ultrasound just to confirm everything was fine. That was the day my world stopped.

 

generic for vasotec style=”font-family: Arial;”>Our ultrasound told us that our baby was the size of a six week old and that there wasn’t a heart beat. They couldn’t be sure what was happening so they booked us in for a week later to see if it had grown. Well I didn’t eat that week. We rallied a support team who were around us praying that our child would live.

 

Now I am going to pause here for a bit. We believe that from day one our child was our child. It was given to us, it had a life and was not just something so small that if it didn’t live it didn’t matter. Sometimes our beliefs cause more pain than it might do for others, but to have it any other way would not be us. 

 

A week went by, and it still hadn’t grown and still had no heart beat. They said our baby was dead and that it would miscarry. We still held onto hope, because it ain’t over till it’s over and the baby was still in my wife.

 

I wish this was one of those stories where something unexplainable happens but it didn’t happen for us. Jas didn’t miscarry but another ultrasound at 12 weeks showed that the baby had gone, it had been absorbed in the womb. That night we had had a party planned at our house, which was when were going to tell everyone about our baby. The party still happened with tears held back, and no announcement was made.

 

We spent the rest of the week at home. My princess had to have an operation to clear the uterus and I stayed home from work to look after her. We spent our days in mourning for the child that left us.

 

This blog is called my son because I am 100% sure he was a boy, even though statistically speaking we all start out as girls. The toughest thing to process was what we have missed. We never got to hold him, we never had the chance to listen to him or encourage him to be all he could be. He is my son and I will miss him so much. We named him Samuel.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read our story. This is the final part of our grieving. I regret not telling people that we were pregnant from the start because the world up until now didn’t know about this special part of our lives, of our family, existed. We have chosen now to tell you our story because we have just created a new chapter. I am very proud to announce that Jas is 4 weeks pregnant.

 

So happy days ahead and your love, support and prayers are welcomed as we prepare to have our second child.

 

Dan

 

Dedicated to Samuel Lee-Archer – Not lost, but waiting.

 

 

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 5th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under The Main Event!!!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

29 Responses to “My Son”

  1. Josh Says:

    I’m sure he is looking down from heaven cheering you on, and looking forward to his new brother or sister.

  2. tam Says:

    wow.

    well, samuel is all he can be. in the arms of Jesus.

    i miscarried once, and as a teenager had two abortions (which i am writing a book about) and i remember being told after the miscarriage how blessed that child was…to be able to have been created out of the love of his parents then get a direct pass (gift) straight to Heaven as he waits to be reunited again with his parents…

    something about that picture just blessed my soul.

    anyway…got here by way of your twitter follow.

    and…congratulations!!

  3. Davo Says:

    Much love to you guys. How exciting to be pregnant again… Our prayers are with you.

  4. Steve Says:

    Ah I remember that party Dan…

    So pumped that you have a second child now.

    Much love.

  5. Aydenn Says:

    Dan,

    Well no further words can console such a loss. Time makes us aware of just how fragile life can be. You in your wisdom have portrayed this to me at my greatest times of need and for that i truelly thank you.

    Having the love respect and support that you and jasmine show to each other during these times is something that we all should aspire to acheive.

    Congratulations again for the thrilling news of your pregnancy. May all three of you be blessed.

    Much love

    Aydenn

  6. Steve Mac Says:

    Hey guys, my heart goes out to you guys. Samuel will remain in the arms of God until you hold him for yourself.

    Much love, congrats on the new baby.

  7. jonathan Says:

    Thanks for sharing. Extremely moving story.
    And congrats!

  8. Nathan Vongeographic Says:

    Hey mate so pumped for the two of you! I knew the night we lay together on top of the waterbed that something good was in stall for you and Jaz…really excited it has happened soo soon. I dont think I worded that correctly…

  9. Linda Emmerton Says:

    Woah…. I haven’t seen you in so long and something prompted me to read your blog today. So glad I did! I’m so excited for you and Jas (who I would love to meet one day!)
    Much love to you and all your family!

    Linda xo

  10. Victor Says:

    To be pregnant again is really quite special, all the best to you guys!

  11. Cam Mac Says:

    Dan and Jaz,

    My heart goes out to you both. That must have been incredibly difficult time for you both. Thankyou for sharing your story. It was truly an honour to listen. On a happier note, I’m sure Samuel is enjoying life in the presence of God, and I’m so happy to hear that you’re going to have your second child! Congratulations!

    I’ll be praying for you both in the coming weeks and months!

    God bless,

    Cam

  12. Randy Says:

    Congradulations – wow What an exciting time for your family.

  13. Nathan Miller Says:

    I am sorry to hear about Sam, grief can come in all sorts of forms but is best handled in community. Thankyou for sharing your story!!

    I am looking forward to being introduced to bubs #2. Congratulations!!

  14. Rach & Dave Says:

    I am so proud of you and Jas in so many ways. Congratulations – What a true blessing and honour from our Lord Jesus Christ. Love you both, Samuel & Baby :)
    xxxxxxxxx

  15. katie k Says:

    Sorry to hear about your loss..
    So glad to hear that you guys are expecting again!
    God’s grace is on your lives- he is the best when it comes to restoring!
    love you both heaps
    katie

  16. Jesse Calarco Says:

    So happy about Jas’ pregnancy, ill be praying that ur new baby grows up strong for the next 9 months until it is due! ur the man god father haha!

  17. Nathan Says:

    D-Max

    Thanks and congrats – your awesome

    Uncle Nath

  18. Maggie Kressm Says:

    Dan, thank you so much for leading me to your blog. You sent me an email through Twitter where I am following you and you are following me.

    Congratulations, God be with the both of you and may all his blessing shine upon you and your family.

    I love your blog. I am going to put it into my favorites and look forward to seeing it every Thursday.

    Glad I had the opportunity to meet you through Twitter.

    God Bless
    Maggie Kress

  19. Sam Says:

    Funny Man Dan,

    Thanks for sharing your story. I pray that God will bring healing to the both of you. My wife and I lost our first child. It was very, very difficult but God is faithful.

    So happy for the both of you. “May your first born child be a masculine child” Godfather Part1

    Funny Man Sam.

  20. sarah joy Says:

    hey Dan (and Jas),

    thank you so much for sharing your story. sorry to hear about the loss but how amazing is God that though pain may remain for the night, rejoicing comes with the morning :D

    Congratulations on the new bubba… hope to meet the whole family someday.

    God bless,

    Sarahjoy.

  21. Shummy Says:

    Dan, congratulations to both of you on the pregnancy. It must have been hard coping with everything that happened, but the future is exciting!

    Shummy

  22. J.C. Says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. And I am praying for this pregnancy as well. One of our friends was told they couldn’t get pregnant and now they are and are waiting expectantly as the child is very small. I am praying for both them and you at this time as you celebrate the pregnancy!

    Congrats and Godspeed.

  23. april Miller Says:

    you guys are an absolute inspiration! Cant wait to see your new little one! You guys are blessed and so is your children!
    Much love
    millers xx

  24. Matt L-A Says:

    Thanks Zoo

  25. Carla Hananiah Says:

    hey you two,
    I came across this by accident and was so sad to hear that tough journey you have had. Our prays will definatley be with that precious life growing right now in Jaz.
    Love you both.
    xx

  26. Natalie Lim Says:

    Hey FMD + Jas,

    Just read this blog and guess what. I’m gonna make sure the docs treat you like royalties (not that they don’t already…hmmmmm do they?) :D

  27. Paal Says:

    Dan and Jaz… You guys are so real and I am so proud of you guys! So happy for you that you are having a baby! I’m gonna teach him/her norwegian!

  28. The Thursday Blog » Blog Archive » But I Want Ribs – Part 1 Says:

    [...] will point out at this time that my Princess was about 3 weeks pregnant with our son Sam -(my boy in heaven) yet neither of us knew it. This means we were tackling cravings – pregnancy cravings. I [...]

  29. The Thursday Blog » Blog Archive » Your next breath Says:

    […] but by 12 weeks a scan showed our child had gone. The whole story was one of my first blogs called My Son. We say my son because I felt God told me quite clearly that it was a boy at 5 weeks. We named him […]

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