The Thursday Blog

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Thursday Blog or, as I like to call it, The Friday Blog. But before I explain that odd name, let me introduce myself. My name is Carlos, also known as Cadu or nerdfeliz (or nerdfelix like Dan likes to say), and I serve in the same ministry and Church as Dan, where I have the honour of leading our preteen ministry at our City campus. I often get to experience the two geniuses FMD and David Wakerley working together, and that is a real privilege. I will be writing this episode of The Thursday (or Friday) Blog, and it will be about parenting, despite the fact that I am 24 and have no children (or wife) at all.

Ah, and I forgot to say, I am Brazilian, and I would love to use that as an excuse to write this late post saying that it is still Thursday in Brazil, but that is not true… I’m late even if we were in Brazilian time, which is quite… Brazilian?! However, it is not politically correct to say that all Brazilians tend to be late, so let’s just blame Rebecca Black instead.

Today’s episode is called…

Remember that we have God

As I mentioned before, I am not a parent. Nevertheless, I do have parents, and had some parenting experience from the child’s perspective, like most people. I would like to say “like everyone else”, but unfortunately some people didn’t have much or any experience with parenting when they were kids. I personally had great present parents, a mum and a dad, since I was born. I even had a “second mother” who babysitted me from the age of 6 months old until I was a teenager. It was all nice and perfect until a few weeks after I turned 13.

It looked like an usual day for me, until the moment when my dad gathered me and my sister (who was 11 at the time) to tell us something, despite my mum protesting that we were too young for that. He decided to carry on with his decision and tell us the news anyway. He was laying down on his bed and my mum was sitting on a rocking chair by the bed, clearly upset, holding her tears. He told us he was leaving home and moving to a different city in a few weeks, but that he still loved us and that nothing changed between us. All my mum could say, before she was rendered speechless by her own tears, was “remember that we have God”.

That was a sad day I will never forget, but most of all, I will never forget what my mum said. Remember that we have God. And that is what I did in the following years of my life. Despite the now broken family and distant dad, I remembered that I had God, not just as my God, but as my Father, my perfect Father. I experienced God’s fatherhood like never before, and I knew that even though my earthly father is not perfect, my Heavenly Father is. As a teenager I cried countless times in God’s presence, and somehow I knew that my Daddy was always there with me and for me. It changed my life forever.

God is the perfect Father. And this is not only true for people who don’t have a present father, but for everyone. Your father will never be perfect, and, if you are a father, you will never be perfect either. It doesn’t matter how much you try to be a hero, one day you will make a mistake. And that is why, as parents (or kids leaders, like me), we need to point our kids to the perfect Father, and they need to understand that, although they do have an earthly father, they also have a perfect Father who will never fail and will be always there with them and for them.

I believe that it is crucial for kids (and adults) to understand this truth, regardless of how present their earthly parents are. They don’t have to lose their parents to experience a deep relationship with the Father. Let’s all be the best parents (or kids leaders) we can be, but let’s remember to lead our kids towards a life-changing relationship with the Father.

Cadu

What’s Love Got To Do With It

While FMD is out and enjoying his family’s new addition, he has asked me to do one of his blogs. Seeing all of the ‘tweets’ from Dan reminds me of when I was expecting my second child. Uhmm, well when my wife was expecting.

The biggest concern I had at that time was if I could love another child as much as I loved our first one. If you have children you know what I’m talking about. The love that you feel for your first child is truly remarkable! It changes you to the core. It can be a little hard to explain to someone who doesn’t have children. I believe having children is just a small glimpse, God gives us, into the love He has for us. It’s truly amazing!

That’s just with one child. How will it work with two? Will I love them the same? Will I love them differently? Will I get any sleep over the next 6 months? How do I keep up with all this love?

FMD is experiencing love on a whole ‘nother level! Trying to explain this to someone who has never experienced it might be a challenge.

Have you ever tried to explain to a friend what a specific drink tastes like? Maybe you try something new at a fancy restaurant and then try and describe the taste to some who had never had the drink before? You try and try to describe it and you finally say something like, ‘it tastes like Coke, only sweeter’. It’s like you have to have that reference point to start with. But what if your friend has never had a Coke! You can try to explain it but they probably won’t get it. It’s the same with trying to describe the love you have for your children. Like God trying to describe to you how much He loves you.

The thing I love about God is, it’s not how much I love Him that matters. It’s how much He loves me! His love is truly overwhelming. He loves me as much as He loves you. He meets us right where we are in our life. He is an amazing God of love.

I realised this even more with the birth of our 2nd daughter a few years ago. You see I love her so very much. It’s so hard to explain but it’s like a whole dimension of love. The love for our 1st daughter is still there and growing. You see I love them both. I love them the same amount, but I love each of them differently. That’s how our Father loves us, because He is Love!

So to Funny Man Dan, enjoy your little one, enjoy your family; enjoy the abundance of love!

As kids leaders we can be so busy doing ministry that we can forget our own families. We can be rushing from Christmas item rehearsal to Christmas outreach assembly and be so exhausted that we miss the most important people in the world. Family is precious, sometimes the plumber is so busy fixing everyone else’s pipes that he neglects to repair his own house.

I think it’s important for us to remember that family was always God’s idea, family is a God creation. Personally, I would have understood if Jesus had miraculously appeared from the wastelands like the Terminator, declaring in a robotic tone, “Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand!” and “I am from the future”.

But He didn’t, instead, God devises a genius lateral plan, it doesn’t follow the logical or predictable script. God the Father places His son inside a small family. This act of God is about to disrupt everything. The young girl Mary is suddenly pregnant but she hasn’t married her fiancé yet; now the family of 2 & 1/2 are forced to flee their home before their child is even born.

This God plan is disturbing more than one little family. When the maniacal tyrant Herod hears a king has landed on earth he launches mass infanticide to kill the dream. The man of the house Joseph, obediently springs into action escaping with his family from the enemy’s deadly attack. God could easily have defended the family with angelic armies. Instead, the family unit was the mechanism God used to protect His Son. Because God believes in His idea, He believes in family.

How about the name by which God wants to be known? Again I would fully understand if God was only known as…

“God”, “Lord”, “Master”, “King”

Or

“Imperial, and intergalactic head honcho of everything you could ever even dream of” or (I.I.H.H.O.E.Y.C.E.E.D.O for short)

But the Creator of the universe always wanted more than a title and forced submission; He wanted a relationship with His creation, He wanted to love and be loved in return. He wanted to be known as Father, which in turn, makes us His children. More than that, He also wants to be allowed to function as Father. As kids leaders we sadly meet fathers who do not fulfil the father role. Your father wants to bless your family, fill you with strength and flood your home with love, mercy and peace. Father’s provide and protect capricious beings only demand.

This of course has the potential to change a lot. Understanding God’s idea of family changes the way we view ourselves, and our walk with God. My wife Assunta and I have three children. When they were younger they would wait in the window, excitedly waiting for the sound of my car’s engine. As the Ford mounted the driveway, they would squeal with delight and bolt to the front door chirping

“Daddy’s home, Daddy’s home!”

They would run into position near the front door, ready for me to open it so they could knock me off my feet with hugs and kisses. I could hear their booming footsteps and shrieks of delight while I was still inside the car. This would be followed by an extensive commentary of how their day had been; vital activities like colouring in, what they had eaten for lunch, or who they played with. They would demand my attention clamping my head into their tiny clammy little hands showing me drawings pressed only millimetres from my face, excitedly saying “look daddy look!”

“I would if I could breathe”, I would answer.

“Look at what I did today!!!!!”

This Christmas you have a real opportunity to connect with the Father heart of God. Away from the distractions and busy schedules, you can allow yourself to slow down and feel the breath of God. Run into His arms with the innocence and anticipation of a child. He is your Dad.

Strong families protect, love and serve. Perhaps you come from a family just like this. Christmas is a great time to appreciate and thank God for the situation you find yourself in today. Perhaps you come from a broken home and things didn’t exactly turn out the way you would have liked them to. This is a good time to remind yourself that God takes the bad things and uses them for good. He converts yesterday’s ashes into beauty, and He wants to do this with your life!

He makes all things new! Maybe this Christmas finds you in a family conflict. What a tremendous opportunity to forgive, forget and release! For some, this is a hard thing to do, however, let me encourage you to ask God the Father to help you let it all go. In His strength all things are possible, as you begin to let go you will feel peace flooding into your soul.

Family is one of the beautiful creations of God, and as such, must be protected. As we worship and embrace the Father, allow Him to be your protector and provider. Offer forgiveness and thank God for all the good in your family. Let anticipation and excitement build in your spirit as you wait on Him, and I pray for some of that childlike innocence to flood your heart. Some of that excitement you used to feel when you were much much younger.

Can you hear the sound?

Daddy’s home.

Hi there.

In celebration of the arrival of our beloved 2^nd child I have a special treat for you. I have asked three of my favourite fathers to be celebrity guest bloggers for the next three weeks as I take some time to get to know the newest addition to my family. They will share on the topic of family which they won’t confess to be experts, on but man oh man they are giving it a great college try. Enjoy.

Have Fun.

Dan

Hi there.

Yes it is still me which means I am still yet to tweet “THE BABY IS COMING” and we are still yet to go into labour and still yet to have the baby.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

It’s ok, I am calm now……..

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Ok, I promise that was the last time, it is just a bit hard to …..

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Let’s get to the episode:

Just have to do it

Hi there

So I am not sure you all understand the situation that I am in so I will take the liberty to explain. I have just come out of the busiest season of my life. It was seriously busy, in fact boarderline stupidly busy. Everything was happening at once. I got a new job which meant I entered into a workplace where I had no idea what I was doing and had much training to do. I was the best man at a wedding which involved an extensive bucks day to plan and the greatest best man speech of all time to write; as well as taking time off to travel interstate for all this. And there was that little project called Hillsong Kids Big that involved two weeks of filming and about 200 hours of writing, rewriting and rewriting scripts and songs. Songs!!!!! Songs are another ball game and yet we challenged ourselves to push the envelope even further by creating a Christmas Musical. It was worth it but boy it was challenging.

On top off all of that in the last 6 weeks I found out I had let myself put on 9 kg (21 pounds) since January and was borderline overweight. So I threw myself back on a diet and an exercise program which is such a draining thing to do. All I want to do is not to run 3 times a week and to eat simple carbohydrates, the simpler the better. But for now I run and diet.

But there is one thing that far outweighs in importance all the other tasks combined. Yes, we are pregnant and we are having a baby; and that creates a whole new level of busy. Now that would sound strange to a few readers. They would think “Surely pregnancy wouldn’t mean things get busy for you. Sure there are a few doctor’s appointments here and there, but nothing too strenuous on your part I am sure.”

Great question, person that questions my current state of business by thinking a statement rather than a question. Never the less here is the answer. It is called nesting.

Man oh man life changes when your wife goes into nesting. When I say life I mean the lounge room, the kitchen, the furniture, bedroom, paint and everything else that possibly could be changed to get ready for the arrival of our newest family member. Now My Princess was ok, she didn’t change around much in the house but she did develop something that the sheer mention of the word sends shivers down my spine. She wrote…

THE LIST.

The list was the list of everything that she felt that needed to be done in order to be ready for this baby. Everything from bringing up the baby bath from the garage to updating family photo albums. The list was huge, 3-4 pages with something written on every possible part of the paper, and it included what needed to be done for Christmas as well. Man oh man we were busy.

But here is the thing. We have completed the list, every last task we have done. We have written and filmed Big and I am starting to find my feet at work. The running is starting to become easier and I have lost 6 kg and am at the weight that I want to keep. We are so ready for the baby but there is one problem.

THE BABY IS NOT YET COMING!!!

So here is the hard thing. As much as everything in me wants to have my child and enjoy our time off as a family, I still am going to work and will work right up to when I get the “I’m in labour” call so I can spend the full 4 weeks off with my family. I also said I was going to diet right up until labour so as much as I want to get back on carbs now, I still ate my tofu and rocket salad for lunch today. As much as I want to go to bed right now I still sit here to write this blog and I am blogging right up to when she goes into labour and then I have break whilst my special guests blog for me.

In the end I just have to do it. I now am going to finish this blog, go to bed, go to work in the morning and eat a boiled egg for breakfast. Why? Because I must finish strong, it is all I know what to do.

Have Fun.

Dan

Hi There.

Dan here, and I have something very important to say. In fact it is so important I need to start by saying something less important just to let the important thing have more impact in comparison. I enjoy cheese. I hope you did not think that was the important thing but in fact the less important thing that will now shine even more light on the importance of the next thing that I will say.

The important thing is:

THE BABY IS COMING

For those of you who follow me on twitter, no this is not the magical call sign just yet. But hopefully soon.

Let me explain.

Two years ago I live tweeted the birth of My Little Princess. This meant a few updates during the course of labour but it all started with the tweet “it has begun’. This year I thought I might continue the tradition of at least alerting the masses that we have started labour and we are expecting a baby at the end of it (hopefully within 2 hours – a man can hope right). So is you see a tweet from @funnymandan simply saying ‘THE BABY IS COMING’ then that is your cue to start praying for a quick and healthy birth, and retweet if you like so others can do the same. We are going on a journey and you are all welcome to join us for the miracle of life.

There is another tradition that I have in my family and that is when any of my family has a child we all enter into a guessing game. We guess the date of birth, weight and of course sex (we choose not to find out). So I thought in the spirit of sharing I would share this game with you.

So to enter simply leave a comment with your guesses in the following categories:

DOB – The due date is 12th December. Bear in mind in Australia we don’t tend to let women to go pass 2 weeks overdue. Our Little Princess was 12 days overdue but we are hoping for this bub to come sooner.

Weight (kg or pounds) Our Little Princess was 3.36kg (7lb 6oz) so we don’t have massive babies.

Sex: We currently have a girl. My Princess comes from a family of 2 kids, one girl and boy; whereas I come from a family of 6 kids, 3 of each sex. So this is a hard choice.

So leave your entries now and the person who is closest will be the WINNER and will be SHOWERED IN……….. water (next time they have a shower).

Good Luck

Have Fun.

Dan

Hi there.

Hang on, I need to find my phone.

Oh, here it is. I need to put it next to me.

Ok, ready. Hi there.

Hang on, I must take it off silent mode.

Done. Hi there.

Hang on, I must check if I have reception so the phone will ring.

Great, I do.

You may be wondering why I have a new-found obsession with my phone being near, off silent and in reception. The reason is My Princess is now 38.5 weeks pregnant which means the baby can come anytime now and I need to be by the phone at all times so she can call me the second she goes into labour.

Hang on, My Princess is sitting next to me.

I better start today’s episode that is called:

Waiting

It is now the business end of our pregnancy and we have pretty much run out of things to do to get ready and have come down to the task of waiting. I have never enjoyed waiting in the past and I am notorious for coming up with creative ways not to wait. Let me share some of my favourites.

1. The Ticket Machine

Every now and then I have to go into a business/shop that has crazy amount of lines and they have a ticket number machine. I do like these much better than lining up as you get to get a ticket with a number and you can sit down and wait. But waiting and I aren’t friends so I take these ticket machines to my advantage. I simply walk in, take about 3 tickets and then walk away and do something else. I make a quick calcuation based on the difference of the last number called out and my numbers and the average length of time it takes to finish with a customer and I casually stroll back after my estimated time waiting is served.

One of two things may happen. I may rock up only to find that it is only moments away from my turn and escort myself like royalty to be served, or on the flip side I would have missed my turn. In the case of the second one, I simply leave and try again another day with an adjusted formula.

2. The Phone ahead

I was a part of an orientation week at our bible college which meant at lunch time there were 400 people all looking for a bite to eat. I walked with a mate to the local Thai restaurant only to find it had a line out the door and around the corner. I assessed the line and because it was over 3 people it was already too long to wait so I walked to an outside table that was vacated and sat down. I then took out my phone and called the restaurant and placed my order for pick up. 10 minutes later after chatting to my friend I simply stood up, walked to the front of the queue and said “pick up for Dan” and after paying said “actually, can I have some plates, we are going to eat outside”.

We then sat down to eat our meal all whilst the line that had hardly moved were glaring at us. There were people in the line when we first arrived that was still in that line when we had finished eating. Gosh it made the food taste good.

3. The changing appetite.

I love my body because it and I are both on the same wave length. If we are both at a festival (and we travel together often) and it is time to eat and it is one of those festivals where even though they are expecting thousands of people they still only have 15 food stalls; my body automatically develops an appetite for what has the shortest line. There is always a stall which 100 people waiting for it and there is always another stall with no line. I don’t care what it is, or how much it costs, I will get that food and enjoy every bite as I watch those strange people wait for their Turkish pancakes.

But the type of waiting I am doing at the moment happens to be the most incredible type of waiting there is. It is so much fun. Everyday I wake up and think “is today the day?” At any moment, of any day I may get a tap on the shoulder or a phone call that will change my life forever. I am literally on stand-by as I wait for God to bestow this undescribable honour of being a father to another child.

It may happen anytime, until then I wait, and I am loving it.

Have Fun.

Dan

Hi there. Dan here. Still awake though borderline asleep. Things have been very busy indeed but like I have said before – the baby is coming soon, we can rest then……. hang on? There may be a flaw in that plan.

I received an email earlier this week from some old friends of mine back from when I was just an 18 year old boy travelling to the third world country of Cambodia on a government-funded study tour. It was an incredible experience, one that I won’t forget, so it was a big surprise to find an email from three of the people who were on that trip who had all met up for dinner. The email said hi, told me what they were doing and how they decided to google me to see if they could find me (which they did). They then asked the question that also happens to be the title of today’s episode:

What is happening with you?

10 years, where do you start! I am a completeley different person now to when I was ten years ago. In fact I am a completely different person than I was one year ago. Every six months or so I look back and think “man, I am so glad I have grown up. I was so immature back then”,’ only to come to another 6 months down the track and I think the same thing about the person I am now. Are you still following me.

So what do you answer that age old question with?

So here is the issue. For years I was caught up with the underlying feeling that I had to prove myself. So if I had any achievement no matter how small it may be I would want to show the world that I had made it. I remember when I co-wrote my first song “Love Never Fails” that got on a kids album. When I say co-wrote that is being very generous. Dave Wakerley and a guy called Gio wrote the song, I just played around a bit with the song and added in a Santa reference amongst other things. I remember I was so proud of myself. I was a published song writer, a fantastic achievement where not many people can get to the same dizzying heights as I had accomplished. I used to check itunes to see if my song was the most popular song off the album (which it wasn’t) and often watch the film clip on youtube to check how many hits it was up to. My goodness I was a mess.

Now all of this is very embarrasing to admit but I hope it serves it purpose in showing us that there are a lot of things that we think are extremely important, that we are extremely proud of and want to let other’s know we have achieved; but ultimately it doesn’t really matter. At the time we are so happy with ourselves and it is one of the first things we would report when asked the question “What is happening with you?”.

I have come to realise more and more recently that the value of the things I am extremely proud of are over-inflated. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a lot of value in them, but compared to what really matters they do not even come close.

I had another friend I hadn’t talked to for about 5 years, sms me the other day. After letting me know how work was going and that they are expecting a baby, they asked the question “What is happening with you?”.

There were a lot of things I could have told them about – what I am working on in Kidmin; my new job; the fact I lost 21kg last year…all of which do have some value but because I was limited in characters (as an sms can get too long), I simply wrote this: “I am up to a lot these days but all that is important is I am a husband to the most wonderful and beautiful woman in the world, and a father to such a precious 2 year old girl with another baby coming very soon. That all that is really happening and I love it”.

I resisted all temptation to spout off my achievements, to look good and to prove myself. Finally after all these years, I may have come to the conclusion that I have nothing to prove.

Have Fun.

Dan

Hello there.

Yes, it really is me, not some celebrity guest writer. The question is: are you happy about that?

A part of you would of course say YES, because the reason you tune in each week is for the sultry sounds of my written word. But there would be a big part of you that would say NO, because the guest writers were just so darn good.

Well I have news that will excite both sides. Today I am bringing you this episode and I will continue to do so each week until my Princess goes into labour. That is when I will sound the emergency broadcast system and you will have a few more weeks of celebrity guests while I remember our breathing techniques and enjoy our new and bigger family.

Tonight is not about My Princess or my soon-to-be-born treasure; but about the girl who very like her mother has changed my life for good. Today’s episode is about My Little Princess Grace, and it is called:

Sooooooooo Much

Tonight when Mummy put Grace down to bed, Grace said to her “Tomorrow sing happy birthday. I’m Two!” That statement was not only amazing because it was a string of 6 words put together which is close to a personal best, but also because it is 100% correct. Tomorrow My Little Princess is turning two.

Let me tell you about Grace. She is something else. She has the amazing ability to enable me to produce endless amounts of love for her, for her mother, for our family and friends, for our church, for my work and for everyday people. I don’t know how she does it but she does. She gets it from her mother.

We have so much fun together. Currently we have the following games between us going: the animal game, the flannel game, the goodbye game, who’s at the door game, and the teddy sheep said no, no, no game. I would go into an explanation of them but you would need a masters degree in DaddyandGrace-ernomics to understand them. From the moment she sees me in the morning she wants to play and spend time with me, and will often bless me with her contagious laugh. Very similar to her mother.

I try to limit myself talking about her to others, not because I don’t want to be that guy that is always talking about his kids, or because I think I am going to bore them (my stories are generally not boring); but because others don’t get it. I could talk for hours about how amazing she is but if you haven’t spent time with her you wouldn’t really understand. And even when you spend a day with her you still can’t grasp just how incredible this little person is. I have spent the last two years with her and I haven’t even scratched the surface of realising the uniqueness of her. She is truly breathtaking. Just like her mother.

I have been taught by My Little Princess just how truly amazing God’s creation of people is. If you were to spend a lifetime with one person you would still not fully grasp everything about them. The problem is when people get older they tend to forget about them, commit them to their subconscious, and do their life with them in the background whilst failing to explore life with them.

One of my greatest privileges as a father is I have the great honour of doing life with My Little Princess and discovering life within her. I have seen her come alive when she is patting an animal, dancing to a song, running on the footpath, laughing at my funny face. What makes her smile, what makes her laugh, what makes her want to hug me, what makes her walk over to the 4 year old in the park and say “hi”. All of this is a mystery and something I want to discover.

Thank you My Beautiful Little Princess for what you have done for me. You have helped me see life in a whole new light and it shines brighter than before. You have taught me that everybody is Ah-MAZING!!!! and even though I only get the opportunity to really get to know a small handful of people, I will be in constant awe at how wonderfully and fearfully they have been made. Especially your mother.

Happy Birthday Grace

Have Fun.

Daddy

Advice to expecting fathers…

Wow! FMD asked me to write about “advice to expecting fathers.” Furthermore, he claims that I have 79 kids. Well, first let me say it’s an honor to write for FMD. He’s a legend and his passion for the next generation is not easily matched. Secondly, I don’t quite have 79 kids, I have five kids and they’re all amazing. I’m going to take a different slant on the topic…I want to talk about the process leading up to “THE DAY.”

Here’s five things I would tell an expecting father in no specific order:

1. Don’t Pick. I can recall people asking me if I wanted a boy or girl before my firstborn was born. I gave the pretty obvious answer of “I don’t care, just as long as he or she has 10 fingers and toes I’m good.” When in fact, deep in my heart I really wanted a boy. I felt that if I dwelt on that too much and he turned out to be a girl that I would be greatly disappointed. Well, it turns out my first child was a girl and there was no disappointment. In fact, after I saw her and months afterward, I couldn’t imagine having boy. I remember thinking that I wouldn’t even know what to do with a boy because I was so in love and used to my baby girl. Long story short—God knows who we need.
2. Enjoy the moment with your wife. Often times we can get caught up with everything that comes with becoming a parent for the first time—endless classes, working longer to bring in more money, parties, etc.; that we forget to take a moment to enjoy what is happening right now. What’s happening is that your wife will never be pregnant for the first time again. All these feelings that she’s feeling right now will not quite be the same the second time around. Every “first time” is special. Don’t just “act” like you care about the first sight of the baby bump, first kick, etc. but actually take the time to enjoy those moments, which takes me to the next point…
3. Be involved. Don’t let your wife do this on her own. Take the time to go through the whole process with her. Go to those classes with her that place you in uncomfortable positions and making awkward breathing noises while bouncing on giant bouncy balls. Don’t miss out on the doctor appointments. It’s easy to say that you’re working, but it means the world to your wife to be there even if she tells you not to worry about it—more than likely she probably still wants you there. Ask her how her day went. Be around more. Do more around the house.
4. Don’t panic. I know, I know, hindsight is 20/20. Exactly. From a father who has been through this I can say with confidence that there’s not much to panic or get worked up about. Also understand that I’m speaking from a perspective of my wife’s pregnancy going as planned. We had no complications and nothing out of the ordinary that would cause us to worry. I talk to many first-time fathers who get pretty worked up about nothing and later they’ll say to me that I was right—there was nothing to worry about. You want to be a rock for your wife. She’s going through a bunch of emotions, she doesn’t need you stressing—her body is doing enough of that. Now, when you see your baby for the first time there’s no such thing as “tough guy.” Many guys cry and at that point it’s more than okay!!
5. Be a proud dad. There’s nothing wrong with being the dorky dad who’s showing off the baby and singing through the halls. You’ll never quite have this feeling again and it feels incredible!! One moment you and your wife were by yourselves doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. Now, you not only have to keep yourselves maintained, but you’re responsible for keeping another human alive. Sure it can seem scary, but beyond that it’s a very proud moment. This little person will want to be like you, mimicking your every move; you’ll be his or her prince or buddy and those thoughts through your head should cause you to puff out that chest and strut through the hospital and everywhere else.

I’m sure there are a million other things that could be said, but as a father of five kids I have repeated these steps a few times. As much as I repeat and as unique and special as each birth is, there’s nothing quite like the first. Happy fathering!!

PJ